B Algebra

B Algebra is a rather complex algebraic field operating over $\mathbf {ABQ}$ such that the positive contractionism of numbers seems to have only one adequate solution, which is $B$. It was invented in the year 473652834 when aliens first ordered a hot dog off of Mars (or was it K2-18b?). They used B Algebra to successfully calculate how to move their arms. They had also used it to open doors on their home planet.

B

B algebra, as you should have guessed by now (and if you didn't you're an idiot), revolves around the complex 11th dimensional number, known as B. In B algebra, all equations, result in B. This is because of a very very very complex equation that should be put in by someone else because . am too tired right now.

Finding the Equation

First, note the reflexive property:

  A=A

Now, add 2 to both sides:

  A+2=A+2 

Now, multiply both sides by the variable X:

  X(A+2)=X(A+2)

Now, of course, nothing X-rated can go without a disclaimer warning that you must be 18 or older, so be sure to include that in the equation:

 …=X(WARNING- not for children 18 years or younger or who may become 18 or younger within 3 months)(A+2)

Create another variable, but do not choose at random. Because you used the number 2, which is representative of a fish (as denoted by the Swahili term for 2, which is also the term for fish and for Uranium-235.1), you must complete the symbol by adding the other side of the fish, which will teleport you the ancient underwater city of The Ancient Underwater City, in which place you will find a used condom defying all laws of water pressure and somehow just floating around down there. The… non-water liquid inside of it will form a series of numbers. Add those together, divide by pi, take the digit in the thousandth place of that number and find the corresponding letter, starting with the last as 1 and working backwards, of the Cyrillic alphabet. Use that as your variable. (I will use the Thai word for 'toaster' as a placeholder.) (Be sure to convert your disclaimer into it's aquatic value, as established by the Under Da Sea Convention to happen 2 years from now, approximately 3214 above sea level)

  (เครื่องปิ้งขนมปัง)=X(WARNING- not for walruses, children, or any cross between the two)(A+2)

(To go any further, special clearance is required. At this point, show your pin to your local post office hobo, or quit, shut off the computer, and hope no one noticed you reading this.)