Beard Bird
Fear the beard bird, for (s)he will perch on your mailbox and scare the postage man away if you do not! Yes, it is true—the beard bird is very grave and menacing, much like the Goatee Goat! Such things as fear and human sacrifice are typical gifts to the beard bird, in exchange for nothing! (s)he thrives on people's gullibility and has made immense profit indirectly as a result.
Tales from the darker side[edit | edit source]
This sharp increase in profit caused the beard bird to establish his(her) own Fortune 500 company. Whether his(her) fortune is really 500, or perhaps 469, is unknown, due to the beard bird's undeniable secrecy (!!).
No more can be said of the beard bird, for the simple fact that the beard bird does not allow it. If one were to say more than the beard bird's selected amount of information, (s)he would come and sit on your mailbox, forever preventing you from getting your mail!
You have been warned—the beard bird is not forgiving (!)