Blitzen The Black Nosed Lame-Deer

This article may contain Satan Claus

This page is CRAP! It is entered in the 2008 Christmas Rockin' Article Pursuit competition. Unless you are the author, please don't edit it or someone will be very mad!

Blitzen the black nosed Reindeer,

Had a very dull black nose,

And if you ever saw it,

You would probably say 'That's lame'!

All of the other Reindeer,

Accepted him due to his normality,

And he joined in as they laughed at Rudolph,

For he had a rather shit morality!

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,

Santa came to say,

Rudolph with your nose so bright,

Won't you guide my Sleigh tonight?

Oh how the others hated him,

Blitzen even more than most,

That gay little shit named Rudolph,

Now had a reason to boast!

They thought up a plan to kill him,

When Santa went to get the Sleigh,

Blitzen pulled out an Uzi,

And blew Rudolph and his nose away!

The time came to hide the body,

It wasn't hard with all the snow,

They buried it under a fir tree,

To make sure no-one would ever know!

At first everything was normal,

Santa just assumed he'd quit,

Until an elf found the body,

Blitzen was now in deep shit!

The police came and his face turned pale,

Blitzen knew he had to act and quick,

If he was to avoid life in jail,

And he knew what just might do the trick!

Santa had become suspicious,

After Blitzen Had been acting weird,

So Blitzen, in an act-malicious,

Strangled him with his own beard!

With the dogs chewing Santa's leg bone,

Blitzen though about his wife,

She would panic when he didn't get home,

Unless her face collided with a knife!

He made his way towards the homestead,

with a 12-inch blade in hand,

After painting the ceiling blood-red,

He set fire to the old-man's land!

The next day he overheard some talking,

Between two of the factory elves,

One of them had seen him stalking,

After working late 'till twelve!

He Knew that murder could not make it better,

Every elf now knew the truth,

So he pulled out his old beretta,

And used his brain to decorate the roof!

Merry Christmas everyone!