Bouillon Socks

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Bouillon socks are not not beef, nor are they not not chick'n.

Bouillon Socks were invented by Methodist bishop Cecil J. Zimbat as a Christian alternative to table tennis. Taking inspiration from Hindu fakirs he'd seen once on a tour of Bangalore, Reverend Zimbat felt that well fed Christians ought to have a way to recalibrate their reality screens too.

The delusional pastor founded a company called Zimbat A Beech Key, incorporated in 1896 by the Liverpool registry of bull goose loons. Although his lenders considered him foolhardy, they donated generously their beefs and chickens of low merit, just to see if the stuff could really be made into socks.

The first run was a single sock, which immediately dissolved when placed outside of the bouillon container. The following four thousand odd runs had the same problem. Then the shop foreman, Callow Dental Implant, came up with the idea of painting feet with successive coats of bouillon until, over the course of weeks, a fuzzy, comfy fungus develops.

This being the olde days, people had plenty of time to lay about having their feet painted. Soon, all pole vaulters took to wearing bouillon socks as a means of provoking insane people.

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