Brazzers
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“I got fucked.”
Brazzers® is a Canadian company that helps women obtain babbies. It has a customer satisfaction score of 4.9/5 stars. They primarily target high-income consumers but have plans for every budget.
First contact[edit | edit source]
When a woman makes a request for a babby, an appointment is made. The customer visits one of the many offices of Brazzers® where a Brazzers® representative walks them through the details of all the packages on offer. After the customer has made a choice, they make the payment. All major credit cards are accepted. If the customer is short on funds, they can pay in 10 easy installments. One or more of the babby professionals (depending on the package chosen) employed by Brazzers® takes them to a private room to provide the requested services. The customer is given as much time as needed, customer satisfaction is the top priority for Brazzers®.
Packages[edit | edit source]
Basic[edit | edit source]
- 90 seconds foreplay
- Blowjob (limited to 3 minutes)
- Creampie (if the babby professional that provides the foreplay/blowjob services is not immediately capable this may be delivered by a second babby professional)
Standard (best value)[edit | edit source]
- 12 minutes foreplay
- Blowjob (no time limit)
- Doggy
- Missionary
- Creampie
Premium[edit | edit source]
Everything from the standard package, plus:
- Cunnilingus
- Cowgirl
- BDSM
- Two Brazzers® babby professionals will be present at all times
- Anal
- Second creampie (can be combined with anal if desired)
The world is your oyster®[edit | edit source]
Everything from the premium package, plus:
- At least 10 (ten) Brazzers® babby professionals will be present at all times plus a few interns
- Double penetration
- Gangbang
- Bukkake
Satisfaction guarantee[edit | edit source]
If no babby is formed, the customer will receive a coupon for another treatment, free of charge. Any travel expenses that were made will be reimbursed.
Compliance with federal regulations[edit | edit source]
In compliance with federal regulations, all customer contact is recorded on video and filed in an online archive. Archive entries can be viewed by anyone for a small fee to ensure Brazzers® is in full compliance with the law.