C is for Calculus

C is for Calculus is an alternative calculus class for college students. Instead of learning about differentiation of explicit and implicit functions, they learn how to spell the word "calculus." Professor Q.B. Huu!fley explains. And yes, he has an exclamation mark in his name.

"We take things very slowly in the class," Huu!fley says, "We spend the first couple weeks on the C alone. We move on to the A-L only after the students take their first big exam, when they are asked to write the first letter of "calculus" on a piece of paper. About half of them write K. Anyway, we slowly progress through the year, learning one letter at a time, until, by year's end the students are masters of spelling the word calculus."

Many students choose "c is for calculus" as a major, and move on to become professional calculus spellers. "There's a very high demand for people who can spell the word. It's a good field to go into." says Huu!fley.

Taking the class has become a national phenomenon, with the recent decline in quality of America's high schools. More and more college kids come into college without even basic grammatical knowledge," says Harvard Professor Gingrigch GHe--Eoo. And yes, he has a pair of dashes in his name. "So instead of taking physics, calculus, or astronomy they take "p is for physics," "c is for calculus," or "a is for astronomy" and learn to spell the words." Actually, I think the proper name for them is hyphens: He has a pair of hyphens in his name.

A sudden change in the article's subject matter

"Captain!" bellowed the young sailor, "I've been staring through this telescope for four hours now and all I can see is this red, gooey stuff!"

"That's because you're not looking through a telescope. That's a jelly donut."

"Oh. How did it get on a pirate ship?"

"I'm not sure."

"Okay. Let's see those thighs."

AND NOW....