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A CABBAGE is a mythological creature that doesn't exist, or at least not whenever I'm looking for it.

Description[edit | edit source]

How am I supposed to describe it? I've never even seen one of the damn things! But I imagine it is round, or maybe square. Like a...cucumber? Except with more fur, and fang. A fang. No? Not a fang. Fang(s). Teeth, like, they are sharp. They probably hurt. But then, I wouldn't know. I WASTED all that time looking for one but all I found was this lousy fish.

What fish?[edit | edit source]

This one. In my suitcase. Next to the hammer. The red one that was NOT STOLEN FROM THE INSPECTOR because his is not red, not red, not red.

Where do you find them?[edit | edit source]

Certainly not in any of the places I looked! So, I don't know. Cans, possibly. I didn't look in any cans. I don't like them. I'm allergic. Or, that could be plums. Cans and plums, I don't know, they taste the same to me. Of course, I seldom eat them.

Air conditioner[edit | edit source]

On and running.


Are they dangerous?[edit | edit source]

Not enough to attack me. Although I did get a mosquito bite that looked sort of like a cabbage might have done it. But nope, it was just a mosquito. It looked like a cabbage though, but like a flying one. Actually, they fly. That's why I couldn't find one. I did find this fish, though. And I didn't waste that much time, just a year or two. Still. Would have been nice.