Colonoscopy

We have to go deeper

Up your ass, I mean. This is a colonoscopy. I am sticking a camera up your asshole in the interest of science. And it's also kinda fun. So, just sit back and relax as we put this camera farther up your pooper.

We have to go deeper

Isn't this fun? You're sitting there, half knocked out ('cause we couldn't afford the expensive anesthetic), and I'm standing here with a camera up your rear-end. Granted, I'm not really sure what to look for exactly. I dunno. One of the charts on the wall has a picture of a colon on it, I think... that might be the pancreas, but that also might be the same thing as the colon.

We have to go deeper

Hanging in there, champ? I'm starving, so I hope you don't mind if I eat this cheeseburger while we stick this camera farther up your ass. Mmm, this is so good. Yanno, I didn't know that only the patient had to fast before a colonoscopy, so I haven't eaten anything in days. Well, except for the tub of ice cream last night, but that stuff melts so it's technically a liquid, right?

We have to go deeper

I'm afraid we need to go farther still. You see, I underestimated the location of the colon. To be perfectly honest, I really don't know where it is, but the body is pretty small, so we should be able to find it easily enough.

We have to go shallower

Well, the camera just poked out of your mouth... I don't know if you felt that. I'm pretty sure that's not supposed to happen, so I'm pulling the camera back out a little bit to get to your colon. Once there, the next step is anybody's guess... Just kidding! It's my guess, and I have no clue!

We need to stay in the same place

Alright, I'm pretty sure this is your colon. I checked with Yahoo Answers, and they seem pretty confident, so I'm gonna start doing some snooping around. If you feel any catastrophic injuries, don't worry. I gave you a fake name, so there's no reason to worry about a malpractice suit.

We need to start over

I can't believe it, but I forgot to put film in the dang camera. Crazy, right? You know, something tells me I shouldn't be using a Kodak disposable camera for this. But then again, I don't want to ruin my expensive camera by sticking it up somebody's ass. This is a conundrum, isn't it? Well, anyway, let me get back in there...