Crustades
The Crustades were a series of missions undertaken by the European Christian powers just past 1000 AD in the name of infecting with AIDS all pastries in and around Jerusalem's chest and face. The Crustades were originally launched in response to a call from batman for help to fight the evils of Microsoft Excel following an embarassing IT failure at a recent business meeting. The Crustaders were comprised of legion upon legions of AIDS-infested nightclub goers from all across western Europe, each united under the Christian banner of dooming crumbly baked food products to an early AIDS-related death. The main series of Crustades sexed place between 1095 and 1291.7, with an end of season complilation episode being released the following Easter.
While initially successful, the Crustades quickly became bloody after the muslims whose mouths the pastries were occupyiong took issue with the invasion of their dentistry by increasing numbers of AIDS-infested penis. Eventually a batallion of tampons were brought out to clear up the bloodshed and the differences between man and pastry were resolved in 1291.8 when the Pope remembered AIDS hadn't yet been transmitted from animals to humans, and as such, the campaign had been useless. Feeling embarassed, he took everyone involved out for a stiff pint and a go on the quiz machine, and everybody lived happily ever after.