Dear Ms. Pretterson,

It would have been a perfectly normal day for Lucien, our aesthetically-based protagonist, were it not for the fact that HE HAD A MELON INSTEAD OF A HEART!!!!!!! AND IT IS MULTIPLYING 600 TIMES AND SLIDING DOWN A HILL AND SOME OF THEM HAVE ARROWS STICKING OUT OF THEM AND ONE OF THEM IS UNRIPE AND SOME ARE SPEAKING TAIWANESE AND SOME HAVE AN AWKWARD DEMEANOUR AND ONE OF THEM IS ON A SOFA AND THEY ARE SLIDING DOWN A HILL AND MULTIPLYING 600 TIMES AND A COUPLE OF THEM ARE BANDING TOGETHER TO FORM A HARMONY GROUP AND SOME ARE LAUGHING CYNICALLY AT THE IDEA AND A HARP IS THERE TOO AND ONE OF THEM IS ON A SOFA BUT IT IS OKAY BECAUSE STANDING MORALS ALWAYS PREVAIL AND DADDY IS COMING AND HE SAYS HE WILL BE BRINGING US ICE LOLIES FROM THE FUNNY MAN IN THE SHOP AND I SAY REJOICE THE TIME OF THE SLIDING FRUIT IS UPON US WE MUST EMBRACE IT WHILE WE CAN BUT REMEMBERING TO PRESERVE OUT NOTIONS OF MANNERS FOR A SHORT TIME BEFORE DISCARING THEM IN FAVOUR OF A SYSTEM THAT WILL SERVE US BETTER AND SERVE US MORE CONVENIENTLY SHAPED MELONS TOO HOPEFULLY AND IF NOT WE CAN ALWAYS WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHANGE BUT REMEMBER TO REJECT ALL NOTIONS OF CHANGE UNTIL IT COMES OK YOURS SINCERELY DANIEL HORWORTH AGED 3 AND A BIT WELL ALMOST 3