Deck building

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Deck building is the act of assembling screws, nails, planks of wood, columns of bricks and four decades worth of rain and foilage to make a deck like structure which is most commonly a deck, occasionally it is an outdoor living area. Deck building is most commonly undertaken by construction workers in shiny vests and hard hats although occasionally by the stereotypical handyman dad in which case the deck in question may be wonky and or dangerous.

Deck building is not recommended to those who feel an uncontrollable urge to harm everything using power tools.

Getting your supplies[edit]

This is an example of where to get the stuff for your deck and highly unoriginal company naming.

First you will need a source of income, because surprise surprise you cannot simply walk into a hardware store, grab the stuff you need and walk out. This is called stealing dear child and stealing involves jail and/or being laughed and pointed at because you plead: "I didn't know I had to buy stuff."

Once you have a source of income, walk into the hardware shop with your money and grab your supplies and walk up to the single 25 year old man at the checkout and exchange your money for the goods and services you just purchased. Now walk out of the store, and go to your car and carefully pack them away.

Now you should drive home unpack all your stuff and get to work on that deck!


I am not going to pretend to be an expert here, I recommend learning from an actually qualified article instead of something you skim read on Illogicopedia. One thing I do know, is you shall be needing powertools for the assembly. If you do not own powertools, go back and read the Getting your supplies section again.

Yadda Yadda health and safety, keep small children out of the area, yadda yadda wear proper footware and hard hats, yadda yadda I accept no responsibility for botched attempts to make a deck that end in injury.

See also[edit]