Dirt?!? What is it with you young whipper-snappers these days?
I remember, back when I was young, wishing that we were rich enough to afford dirt. Papa would always get annoyed with us. Back when he was young, dirt hadn't been invented yet. It was a big deal when dirt first came to town... I was just a wee toddler then, barely older than dirt, and remember one of our neighbours managing to pinch pennies for many years before finally being able to claim to be dirt poor.
It was the talk of the town when the first dirt was brought into the village. Every gossip for miles around was eagerly enquiring for all of the details on whatever dirt could be dug up.
We were poor, but we had it good. You tell the kids that these days, though? They just take everything for granted, probably weren't even around when dirt was first invented. Let me tell you, though, it was a big deal when we had our first dirt in the village all these years ago.
Darned near lost it to US president Hoover and his infernal vacuum cleaners back in the Depression, too. We had to take what little dirt was left, put it in a bowl, and hide it when the Bennett Buggy clomped through town. That was our Dust Bowl.
Those were the days...