Draft dodgers

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“No, not Jammy Dodgers.”

~ an angry German kid

Of people different from herself, she had little or no business to attend to. Much of her time was spent standing outside a particular door she once saw in her favorite motion picture, though it looked more impressive then because it was bigger with Doritos.

I wandered far and I wandered wide until I came to a hill, upon which I saw a very old man holding a snapping turtle. I approached with caution, because I was naked and the snapping turtle had a very long neck. I said "why are you on this hill?" and he said, "Because I want to." Then I passed out.

Eleven days later, I awoke to see a billboard above me. It was advertising a fast food restaurant selling fried turtle toes. The old man was upside down.

Then I went to a hotel and said, "I WANT!" to the woman behind the desk. She said "ME TOO" and didn't italicize it, to the ruin of all in the immediate vicinity. I stepped into the elevator and pushed the "button" to go to the "floor" I "wanted," but I found out it had not yet been constructed. I'm not sure where the elevator ended up. I sat on a couch and apples.