Fish Are Just Vegetables

Overview

Under the sea, it was thought that multiple forms of life exist: fish, crabs, mammals, and plants. Now just remove fish from the equation and you will understand the truth. This is because fish ("'Fish'") are just vegetables, in the sense that the are exactly the same as like a cucumber or something.

Implications

This new information carries with it many serious and joyful consequences. Primarily it means that strict vegetarians can stop complaining about the lack of flavor in their life and will be able to now chow down on delicious eel. Mmmmmmmm. What it also means is that the procurement and distribution of fishy items and objects must face new regulation as new understandings come about. For example, if a farmer desires to sell some squash in a market, the regulator of that market assesses quality and price of said squash. Now the sale of tuna will need to be overseen by the same person in every case, for fairness.

Some proposals to streamline this process include a total re-imagining of the international order, specifically including the abolition of such regulatory institutions as the European Union and the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau. Such ideas allow for a restructuring of the global understanding of what it means to be a fish and a vegetable, which then allows for a reclassification under tax and health laws.

Evidence

Due to an agenda carried out by systems pushed by large corporations that are stuck in their ways this new information may seem totally baseless and contrived. But no, this is not the case. Many people, from the most esteemed experts to the bottom-of-the-barrel layperson, have begun to realize this truth and have been coming up with their own forms of proof to solidify their findings in the public eye.

Self-Examination

The clearest way to come to the conclusion that fish are just vegetables for yourself is to simply take a fish and crack it open, look at it, smell, it, touch it. Get a good understanding of what is going on in there. See that it is clearly not a machine, which is determined through the lack of circuitry, so that rules out fish being machines. Note that by and large they are also not fully entirely with small pebbles. This leads us away from the conclusion that fish are boulders, or even bags of rocks. Once those are ruled out it is really important to use your sense of taste. Run your numerous fingers along the interior of the fish and then shove them into your mouth. Get used to that flavor. Realize how it is nothing at all like any real animals such as cow or steer or beef. Nor is it bird. What this tells us is that fish is clearly not meat.

To further this experiment and move on from simply finding all of the things that a fish is not, find a more common vegetable that you might keep in your house. For example, a stick of celery or a large zucchini is simplest to work with. Take your excellent fingers and find the seam of the vegetable, then use your fingies to tear into the thing and rip it to shreds, as one does to usually cook food. Go immediately to the final stage used for the fish. It is extremely helpful to re-run your digits throughout the inside of the fish to really get used to that flavor. Then, with your uncleaned extremities, quickly do the same to the green veggie. You will notice that the flavors are nearly identical. Congratulations, you have discovered for yourself that fish are in fact simply just only really vegetables.

Logic Tests

A less hands-on approach to coming to the final truth you will ever need is through logical reasoning. Think carefully to yourself, where do fish and where do vegetables each come from? Vegetables come from under the ground. Fish come from under the sea. Due to our human understandings of chemistry we can understand that the only difference between the sea and the land is the amount of energy that is needed to maintain the liquid state of sea-water and the lack of energy needed to maintain the solid state of top soil. In reality, we know that those energy levels are insignificant to the general nature of reality and can understand the true place that both fish and vegetables come from is "below". By contrast, we humans (aside from are differently-abled members of society) are not from below, we are from above, and therefore are not vegetables. The same goes for cow, steer, beef, and cheese steak sandwiches. That is what makes them meat and things like fish not meat.

Challenges

Many challenges present themselves when it comes to a total overhaul of how intermediary relations occur. Concerns brought about though may all be assuaged by former President George Bush, the pretty good communicator, who shared his sentiments that "man and fish can coexist peacefully".

There may indeed be those who stand against the change in classification, even propagandists that may choose to call it a "violent revolution", but that would simply be a gross mis-characterization and we all know it.