Fisher Price DOS

This article was STOLEN BY UNCYCLOPEDI-UH!!   Lazy bastards! We had it first!

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  1. Normal mode
  2. Safe mode
   1

You have selected "normal mode".

Welcome to Fisher Price DOS
"go eat shit fuckers"
© Fisher Price Inc.

C:\>Programs\MicrosoftOffice\word.exe
The system cannot find the path specified.
go eat shit fuckers

C:\>Programs\MicrosoftOffice\word.exe
'word.exe' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file. go eat shit fuckers

C:\>Programs\Security\virus_scanner.exe
'virus_scanner.exe' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file. go eat shit fuckers

C:\>reboot "safe mode"
Shutting down....
go eat shit fuckers

One manual reboot later...

  1. Normal mode
  2. Safe mode
   2

You have selected "safe mode".

Welcome to Fisher Price DOS
"go eat shit fuckers"
© Fisher Price Inc.

C:\>Programs\Security\virus_scanner.exe
MicrosoftAntiVirus(YeahRight)
Not copyrighted in any way. Mess up as you like.
Running scan... (100%)
0 threats detected!

C:\>Programs\Security\scanner_update.exe
Checking for updates... (100%)
0 updates found!

C:\>Connections\connect.exe
Enter username:
   poopybanana
Enter password:
   **********
Warning! Firewall not detected! It is highly recomended that you turn a firewall on.
  1. Stop
  2. Continue
   1

C:\>Programs\Security\firewall.exe
Firewall active.

C:\>Connections\connect.exe
Enter username:
   poopybanana
Enter password:
   **********
Dialling...
Checking password...
Authenticated.

C:\>Programs\Security\scanner_update.exe
Checking for updates... (100%)
10 updates found!
Installing... (100%)

C:\>Programs\Security\virus_scanner.exe
MicrosoftAntiVirus(YeahRight)
Not copyrighted in any way. Mess up as you like.
Running scan... (100%)
10 threats detected!
  1. Remove
  2. Remove
  3. Remove
  4. Cancel
   4

Removing threats... (100%)
Threats removed. However, the database signature is corrupted, which could mean an unremovable threat.

C:\>cd D:

D:\>antivirus.exe
Antivirus v.9001
© Alien Software inc.

Running antivirus... (100%)
1 threat found.
Removing... (100%)
Your PC is now safe until 2054.

D:\>cd C:

C:\>Programs\Mozilla\mozilla.exe
Enter url:
   irc://irc.illoginode.net/fisherpricelinux
Welcome to Chatzilla, poopybanana
Connecting...
Connected.
   /msg nickserv identify lemondoody
{to nickserv} identify lemondoody
Identified.
   <BobbyCool> And den i said to the policeman, who was surrounded by all these people with animal-masks on, i said...
   <poopybanana> Hi.
   <BobbyCool> Oh, hi. Just wait a sec
   <BobbyCool> i said, "oh, so dis ain't teh nudist festival". and den all these furries started beatin each other up.
   <LolCat666> yeh?
   <BobbyCool> it turnt out it woz a furry con. butdat aint half teh story cos den i fainted cos it turned out dat drink id had woz full of liquid anesthetic which my friend said he pud in az a joke but im not so sure.
   <LolCat666> awesome!
   <BobbyCool> now, i woke up in a pool of piss in a police cell but i bribed dis dude and he let me go. dat night i needed some cheerin up so i called dis hot whor. and dat's how i got HIV. i've came back from the clinic several hours ago. so, taht's just about my entire life up till when i went on irc to get some counselling. wot's ur life story, btw?
   <poopybanana> Uh...
   <BobbyCool> What is it? i'm a busy man. i only have 2 more months before i have to flee 2 mexico.
   <poopybanana> Uh, well, my OS isn't working too well... all it displays is "go eat shit fuckers" when i don't boot in safe mode.
   <BobbyCool> hahahahaha!!! every1 noes all u hav 2 do is enter the command "format C:".
   <poopybanana> But won't that erase my hard drive?
   <BobbyCool> exactly! then u can install an OS dat workz!!! Go to http://illogicopedia.org/wiki/Fisher_Price_Linux to see an example.
   <poopybanana> Okay, it's worth a go... I guess. And I've written that url down for future reference.
   /disconnect
   Disconnected from "#fisherpricelinux"

   close "mozilla.exe"

C:\>format C:

...

The End?

...

...or is it?