Forum:Jokes
JOKES[edit source]
Post some of your jokes. Anything but Yo Momma jokes. And yes, you can post racist jokes.
T3canolis' collection[edit source]
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because flying across was too hard.
A German guy, an Italian guy and an American guy are on an island. A magical genie appears and offers them each one wish. The German wishes he was back home. The Italian wishes he was in Venice. The American guy said, "Wow... it's lonely here. I wish my friends were back on the island."
Two kids, a pilot, a Rabbi and a Priest are on a plane. Both wings break and the plane is going down but there are only two parachutes.
- Rabbi: We should give the parachutes to the kids.
- Pilot: Fuck the kids!
- Priest: Do we have time?
Just think about it.
Q: How do you get four gay guys to sit on a barstool?
A: Turn it upside down.
Ow...
George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Barack Obama are on a plane. George Washington throws a dollar bill out the window to "Make a man happy for a day". Abraham Lincoln throws out five one dollar bills to "Make five people happy for a day". Barack Obama throws out 20 one dollar bills to "Make twenty people happy for a day". Teddy Roosevelt picks up Barack Obama and throws him out the window to "Make the whole country happy for a day".
Okay, maybe just me. NOBAMA!
Q:What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A:Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson is fucking crazy!
Q:How do you get an eighty year old woman to yell "fuck"?
A:Get an eighty year old woman next to her to yell "BINGO".
This one will only be funny if you do it to someone:
A pimp has three hoes who didn't pay him his $20.
He goes up to the first one who says "I shouldn't have to give you the money." He slaps her and says, "Bitch! Don't question me"
He goes up to the next one who says "I need this money for my kid." He slaps her and says, "Bitch! Don't question me"
He goes up to the third one who says "Please... please..." He slaps her and says, "Bitch! Don't question me"
He goes up to the fourth one- at this time, your friend will say, "Wait, there are only three hoes" at which point you will slap him/her and say "Bitch! Don't question me"
Three construction workers (a German, a Mexican, and an American) are on top of a building working and its lunch time.
They all open up their lunches.
The Germano: Damn! Tuna. If I get tuna if I am jumping off of this building!
The Mexicano: No! If I get a tortilla tomorrow, I am jumping off!
The Americano: Bologna! If I get bologna tomorrow I am jumping off!
Sure enough, they all get the same thing and jump off.
Their funeral:
German's Wife: If I knew didn't want tuna I would of given him something else.
Mexican's Wife: No, no! I thought he wanted 'de tortilla!
American's Wife: Hey, hey, don't look at me. He packed his own lunch.
I will add more soon.
Who is the most powerful black man in the world? Oprah! 21:58, 19 Yoon 2009 (UTC)
Knock knock
Who's th-BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! 10:39, 25 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)