Hammertime
STOP! Hammer Time!
- This article is describing the effects of Hammer Time in relation to the timezones. If you're looking to hiring hammers for a period of time, please visit this farmer. Hammer Time should not be confused with Chico Time or Taco Time.
A brief history of Hammer Time[edit | edit source]
Hammer time is the timezone used on Hammer Island located in the Pacific. The inhabitants of Hammer Island religiously perform the hammer-time routine at bedtime, teatime, lunchtime, afternoon time and early morning time.
Daylight Savings Time[edit | edit source]
In 1993, Hammer Island instituted British Daylight Savings Time rules. So, on the first Sunday of each April, the island stops Hammer Time and switches to Hammer Daylight Time; on the last Sunday in October, the island rings the school bell, breaks it down, and returns to Hammer Time.
Hammer Time: its uses[edit | edit source]
Hammer Time has caused some controversy over the years with many people believing the island should be sunk. In 1991, hammers were legalized on the island. With many anti-hammer campaigners, the law didn't go down too well. When the dictator of Hammer Island was questioned on the matter he simply shrugged his shoulders, grabbed a hammer, put on a fluorescent purple suit, started doing the moonwalk and went 'Hammer Time!' to which the interviewer replied: "Ner ner ner ner, ner ner, ner ner".
Hammer Time: its real uses[edit | edit source]
Hammer Time is thought to have the totally cool and awesome property of time travel. Travel a little east out of the time-zone of hammer time and your watch will revert back to its previous state, unfortunately, all prior memories are also reset so you never know how this really works.
Hammer Time in everyday life[edit | edit source]
Everyone will experience at least one Hammer Time within a lifetime with many individuals having many Hammer Time experiences. One individual was found in a forest, naked doing the Hammer Time routine to a dead weasel which had undergone rigormortis for several days. He had been experiencing hammer time for over 3 months. Hammertime can also be used as good tin can openers in times of distress.
FAQ[edit | edit source]
- How will I know a Hammer Time is occurring?
- Look at your watch; the watch should say "Hammer Time!"
- What should I do if I experience a Hammer Time?
- Stay calm and remember the routine, not doing the routine results in bad things.
- What's the routine?
- The routine is stay calm and do the routine
- What's the other routine?
- Doing the first routine.
- Can I touch dis?
- Did you even listen to the song?!
Hammer Time in Music[edit | edit source]
When performing his famous hit title "U Can't Touch This", MC Hammer obviously looked at his watch and realized what the time was, and thus appear the lyrics "It's Hammer Time!!!". Although it is hard to tell from the music, fear not: the routine was safely carried out.
On a side note, despite the name of the song "You Can't Touch This," one can, in fact, touch that. MC Hammer was lying. He should be ashamed.
Hammerspacetime[edit | edit source]
Recently, MC Hawking has unified hammerspace with Stop! Hammer Time! to produce a general theory of Hammerspacetime. This makes the simple equation .
