HowTo:Pick up girls

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Picking up a girl can be a difficult job, especially if they weigh 300 pounds.

That lady is fat!

Methods[edit]

There are a few ways to pick up a girl. Some of the preferred methods are written below.

Legs[edit]

Some people like the legs method, for its bread-like qualities.

Materials[edit]

  1. A girl
  2. Your guns

Procedures[edit]

  1. Place your hands below the knee at mid-calf level.
  2. With one quick motion, swing her body into the air.

Jack[edit]

For some of the heavier ones you may want to use a jack.

Materials[edit]

  1. A girl
  2. Your guns
  3. A jack


Procedures[edit]

  1. Place your hands around her waist if you can.
  2. Carefully lift her onto the jack like a Fat Hippo.

Safety Advice[edit]

If the girl you're lifting is on the large side make sure you lift with your legs, or get a friend to help you, otherwise you could seriously injure yourself, ranging from a potential slipped disk to full blown paralysis.