HowTo:Sell less Coca Cola

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To Coca Cola

The secret to bankrupting your company: run an ad with severed tongues.

To others

Ugh. Just buy a lot of it. (Sale = –purchase.)

Un-random facts

• Coca Cola comes from the juice of the Coca plant.
• The sugar content of Coca Cola is the number one cause of death tooph decay.
• The Coca Cola Company is really part of a vast, ancient conspiracy to sell Coca Cola.
• Coke is more obedient than Pepsi, but Pepsi is more loyal. Gulp.