I'm going to upstage THE and Testostereich by writing some massive EPIC, possibly

Chapter 1: If I finish this I am a slut.

Import the Vodka, ovary

Chugging his gin, Jockstrap started thinking. He started trying to get himself horny, but failed badly. He fell back in his office chair and sighed. He had lost his virginity. The phone rang. Jock ran to the phone. Jock spilt pepsi all over the phone and started to gangrape it. The phone was left in a petrified state. He then zipped up his flyers and got back to his work. He came up with a couple of ideas:

1. Story on ironing board
2. Random ramble on a mango
3. Huge story on penguin along with other editors
4. An 'ism'

All of them had already been taken.

He lunged into his office chair again, sweaty. The phone rang again. This time he screamed BUGGER IT! and did nothing.

TO BE CUNTINUED