I pooped today

Day 1: This is the day I, Almighty Tubesockist decide to poop. I seem to be glued to my bed. I wriggle out, and fall onto the floor. I get tired. I go to sleep.

Day 2: I realize that if I want to poop, I need food. I have not eaten in the past 8 years. Time to get on to my computer and order - - STRWABRERRIES! OK! Go search this. "S", "T", "R",wow, this is strenuous work, I need a break. Alright. "W", "A", "B", OK, this is good enough for today. Good night!

Day 3: OK, it's the final countdown. I'm going to stretch myself as hard as I can. "R" and "E" I did in one finger. That took me a lot of thinking time so I could pull that off. "R", "R", "I", "E" OH GOD MY HAND FELL OFF! Well, whatever. Didn't even like that hand. I write "S" with the other and and press "search" After that, I promptly pass out.

Day 4: I click on a strwabrerries selleroonie, but it takes AGES to load, probably because my computer is a potato with magic marker scribbled on it. Whatever. I go to sleep waiting for it to finish loading up the selleroonie.

Day 5: Still loading.

Day 6: Done! I have succesfully ordered the strwabrerries. Apparently it has 2 weeks shipping...

Day 7: This is going to be a long wait, isn't it...

Day 8: I was bored, so I walked over to the grocery store across the street to pelt myself with cabbages.

Day 9: Cabbages are great!

Day 10: Cabbages are boring me at the moment. I wonder if this quest to poop is futile.

Day 11: Well, the guy at the grocery store kicked me out, so I guess I have to go back home.

Day 12: Almost back across the street...

Day 13: Alright, I'm there.

Day 14: I'm still bored. I play some video games on my potato. Then I throw it at the wall. I'm still bored.

Day 15: I'm gonna trek to my mailbox to see if there's mail.

Day 16: OK, no mail. Too lazy to go back inside, sleeping outside is no big deal.

Day 17: Still no strwabrerries. Guess I should go back inside.

Day 18: OK, I actually went inside.

Day 19: I'm on the brink of giving up. Why do I need to poop anyway?

Day 20: I GOT MAH STRWABRERRIES. But, I forgot how to eat. Sleeping outside tonight.

Day 21: OK. I TRIED EVERY SINGLE ORIFICE. I FINALLY GOT IT. I ATE THOSE STRWABRERRIES. Kinda tasted like gruss, though.

Day 22: I POOPED TODAY. I AM THE WINNER.