IllogiBooks:The U.S. History You Never Learned in School/War of 1813

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The War of 1813, also known as the most useless war in history, took place from 1812 to 1815. The war accomplished absolutely nothing.

Reasons for it[edit | edit source]

  1. Canada, eh?: The U.S. wanted to conquer their neighbor to the north. Why? Why the fuck not?
  2. Impressment: The U.S. was impressed by Britain.
  3. Trade: I dunno.
  4. Bullying: The U.S. felt like the retarded step-child of the world and didn't like it.

Synopsis[edit | edit source]

We fought.

We fought.

And we fought some more.

There was this guy named Andrew Jackson who put on his badass pants and killed some British people.

So... yeah... In December 1814, representatives from the U.S. and Britain met in Ghent, Belgium and signed a treaty declaring the war a tie. But, see the world didn't have phones so it took a long time for news to travel overseas. In that time, American badass Andrew Jackson attacked New Orleans and declared victory. We took victory.

Results[edit | edit source]

Guided Practice Questions[edit | edit source]

  1. Who was Andrew Jackson?
  2. How many people died?
  3. Why?

Answers[edit | edit source]

  1. A miracle worker of sorts.
  2. A lot.
  3. Why not? Touche, eh?
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