IllogiGames:Sinkhole/Sinkhole 1.source
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This is the source to part I of The Sinkhole
<!-- **************************************************************** -->
<!-- General defs -->
<!-- **************************************************************** -->
#define .TITLE The Sinkhole <small>''(You'll Never Get it Up the Steps)''</small>
#define .PART_2_PATH IllogiGames:Sinkhole/Sinkhole_2
#define .PART_PREFIX IllogiGames:Sinkhole/Sinkhole
<!-- #define .PART_2_PATH User:Snarglefoop/Games/Sinkhole_2 -->
<!-- #define .PART_PREFIX User:Snarglefoop/Games/Sinkhole/Sinkhole -->
#defbegin .LINK_PART_2
#if (X=[%with(Wienerdogs,Donuts)])
* {{Goto|page=.PART_2_PATH|4|Slide into the sinkhole}}
#elseif (X=[%with(Wienerdogs)])
* {{Goto|page=.PART_2_PATH|3|Slide into the sinkhole}}
#elseif (X=[%with(Donuts)])
* {{Goto|page=.PART_2_PATH|2|Slide into the sinkhole}}
#else
* {{Goto|page=.PART_2_PATH|1|Slide into the sinkhole}}
#endif
#defend
#define .RESTART_LINK(&tx) {{Goto|page=.PART_PREFIX|0|&tx}}
<!-- **************************************************************** -->
#defbegin .SPLITFILE_ROOM_0
This is one of the files which make up The Sinkhole. The game has been divided into multiple files due to file size limits in the server.
However, you didn't get here by a socially acceptable method; you apparently crashed in through a wall rather than using the front door.
This is not a stand alone entity. If you play the sequence in The Sinkhole part 1, you'll find your way into this file in an orderly fasion, and end up somewhere more useful than this annoying message.
What would you like to do next?
* .RESTART_LINK(Start at the beginning of The Sinkhole)
* [[Special:Random|Go someplace else, this is boring]]
* [[Illogigames|Check to see if there are any (other?) worthwhile games on this site]]
.NOINVENTORY
#defend
<!-- **************************************************************** -->
#defbegin .DUMMY
''You have fallen through a hole in the air.''
''This room does not exist.''
''There are no exits from the room.''
* [[Special:Random|Go through a wall]]
* {{Goto|page=User:Snarglefoop/Games/Sinkhole/Sinkhole|0|Start over}}
<!--* .RESTART_LINK(Start over) -->
[[Category:Ah crumbs]]
<small>''Version 1.0''</small>
#defend
<!-- **************************************************************** -->
#defbegin .INVEN(&a)
[[../01-Inventory-.ILIST(&a)|''Take Inventory'']]
[[Category:Ah crumbs]]
#defend
<!-- **************************************************************** -->
#define .NOINVENTORY [[Category:Ah crumbs]]
<!-- **************************************************************** -->
#defbegin .LOSE
'''''You have died.'''''
What would you like to do now?
* .RESTART_LINK (Start over)
* '''Take that last turn over''' -- That's what the 'back' button is for
* [[Special:Random|Go someplace else, this is boring]]
* [[Illogigames|Check to see if there are any (other?) worthwhile games on this site]]
[[Category:Ah crumbs]]
#defend
<!--
****************************************************************
State definitions
****************************************************************
-->
#state (%0)
h:You have no idea what you're doing here.
You are dressed in clothing of some sort. You're wearing coarse canvas pants, and a kind of heavy weird shirt with a bunch of buckles and funny straps attached to it. The buckles are all unbuckled, and the straps are just kind of hanging loose. The combo is kind of dirty looking. There's a slogan of some sort on the shirt -- it says "If found return to..." and you can't seem to read the rest of it, it kind of blurs every time you look at it. You wonder where you got it -- Salvation Army? Hard to say.
You are also carrying:
+:Phone |* [[../02-Inven-phone|A cell phone]]
#endstate
#state (%Started, %0)
+a:Started|
#endstate
#attributes(%Started)
+:Elephant |* [[../02-Inven-elephant|An elephant]]
+:Backpack |* [[../02-Inven-backpack|A backpack]]
+:Antenna |* [[../02-Inven-antenna|Some kind of TV antenna or something]]
+:Rock |* [[../02-Inven-rock|A rock (or boulder). Big. Heavy.]]
+:Bandaid |* [[../02-Inven-bandages|A box of bandages]]
+:Newsp |* [[../02-Inven-newsp|A rolled up newspaper]]
+:Toothbrush|* [[../02-Inven-toothbrush|A toothbrush]]
+:Skis |* [[../02-Inven-skis|A pair of skis]]
+:SkiPoles |* [[../02-Inven-skipoles|A set of ski poles]]
+:Wienerdogs|* [[../02-Inven-Wienerdogs|A package of Oscar Meyer wienerdogs]]
+:Donuts |* [[../02-Inven-donuts|A box of donuts]]
<!-- +:Coffee |* [[../02-Inven-coffee|A thermos of coffee]] -->
+a:BedOut |The bed has been tossed out the window
+a:BedMoved |The bed has been moved aside
+a:Hole |'''The sinkhole has been opened'''
+a:Outside |You're outside the house
+a:Inside |You're inside the house
+a:SkiSlope |You're at the ski slope
+a:WindowOpen|The window is open
+a:JugGone |The jug is gone
+a:Ate |You've eaten something
+a:KitchenWindowOpen|The kitchen window is open
+a:Snails |You have noticed the snails
+a:Crater |There is a crater blown in the dirt outside the kitchen window
+a:Truck |You've driven the truck into the donut shop
<!-- Relations -->
r: WindowOpen = BedOut
r: Bandaid = Backpack
r: Newsp = Backpack
r: Toothbrush = Backpack
r: SkiPoles = Skis
<!-- r: Coffee = Donuts -->
r: Inside ! Outside ! SkiSlope
r: Inside + Outside + SkiSlope
r: Elephant -> Backpack
r: BedMoved -> BedOut
r: Hole -> Elephant & BedMoved
r: BedOut -> Ate
<!-- r: Ate -> JugGone <!-- If you drink the stuff in the jug, the jug is gone afterward -->
<!-- r: Crater -> JugGone <!-- If you throw the jug out the window a crater is formed -->
r: Crater ! Ate <!-- You can't form the crater if you drink the stuff in the jug -->
r: JugGone = Crater + Ate
<!-- r: JugGone -> Crater + Ate <!-- If the jug is gone there must be either a crater or you drank it -->
r: Snails -> Ate <!-- You only see (and can taste) the snails after you drink the glop -->
r: Antenna -> Snails <!-- You can't get onto the roof without tasting a snail -->
r: Rock -> Antenna
r: Backpack -> Rock
r: Skis -> Ate
r: SkiSlope -> Skis
r: Donuts -> Skis
r: Truck -> Skis
r: Donuts -> Truck
r: Wienerdogs -> Skis
#endattributes
#instantiate (%Started)
================================================================
02-Inven-Wienerdogs
''A Package of Wienerdogs''
It's a plastic wrapped package of Oscar Meyer wienerdogs. There's the familiar logo, and there's an ingredients list. You try to read the ingredients, but all you can make out is that it contains red dye #17, #37, and #4062, blue dye number #239-a, sodium nitrate, sodium nitrite, sodium acetate, sodium bitartrate, sodium hypercalcitate, and then your mind wanders and you never find out what else might be written there.
It strikes you as maybe a little odd that the package is wiggling, and you can hear muffled barking noises coming from it. But then again, you've never read the ingredients list on a package of wiener dogs before, so maybe that's normal.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-antenna
''An Antenna''
It's an object about 4 inches long ... or maybe it's nine inches long, or even a yard long. You're not sure. It seems to vary depending on whether you're looking at it. And it has a sort of flat blade thing on one end.
And it's bright pink.
And it's emitting a continuous low buzzing noise. You find the sound rather comforting -- it's a nice antidote to that abominable squeaking.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-bandages
''A box of bandages''
You have a box of Ace bandages. They're the stretchy kind, where they're just four inches long when you take them out of the box, but after they've been exposed to the air, you can stretch up to six feet.
You never know -- these might be really useful for something.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-donuts
''A box of donuts''
You have a box of yummy looking frosted sugar coated donuts!
In a moment of ambition, you read the ingredients -- or try to.
The first ten ingredients all seem to be sugar, and then the label seems to blur and you stop reading.
The donuts themselves seem to be white with blue and pink stripes running around and around them in a spiral pattern. If you look too long at the stripes, you know your head will start spinning, so you don't.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-newsp
''A newspaper''
You examine the newspaper very carefully.
There seems to be something odd about it, something you can't ''quite'' put your finger on. At first glance it seems to be a completely normal newspaper, but then ... something ... ah, maybe you're just imagining it. Maybe it ''is'' just a normal newspaper.
But then you look to see ''which'' paper it is. (You know, is it the Fnurdlian Times, or the Fee Fie Foe Fum News, or the Smaug Action Report, or what?) And you realize you ''can't tell'', because it's printed entirely in ''white ink on white paper.''
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-phone
''A cell phone''
It's a phone, but it's made entirely of cells.
It's a light pink color, somewhat blobby, and kind of floppy and a bit sticky.
You try to navigate through the menus to find the phone number, but it squeaks so piteously each time you poke it that you give up the effort.
You never saw the phone before today. You have no idea where it came from.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-rock
''A rock''
It's a rock. What can you say about a rock?
If you had a group of them, you'd have a rock group, and then you could go deaf. Or get rich. Or something.
But you don't. You just have one.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-skis
''A pair of skis''
You have a pair of skis.
You know they're skis, because you skied down the side of a mountain with them.
When you look at them closely, though, you notice that each one has a large engine, a big exhaust port in the back, and a seat on top. They look like they'd be more at home on the water than on the snow. In fact, as you look at them, you can't even figure out how you ever got them on your feet.
Are these the same skis you skied in so skiishly when you where skiing on the ski slope?
Your brain skis off onto another hill before you can find an answer.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-skipoles
''A pair of ski poles''
You have a pair of ski poles to go with your pair of skis.
You used them when you skied down the mountain, and they worked very well indeed. They seem to be the finest carbon fiber racing ski poles you've ever seen.
Yet, as you look at them more closely, you realize that they don't really look much like carbon fiber. They're silvery, and very thin, and they feel kind of floppy. Their points don't look quite right, either -- they have three tines, like strange pitchforks. And strangest of all, when you try to measure one of them, it only seems to be about three feet long. Or was it ... when you try to measure it a second time it seems to be closer to four feet long. How confusing!
And the more you try to think about it, the more your brain wiggles around and thinks about something else.
Maybe they're really just fine.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-toothbrush
''A toothbrush''
The brush head is about an inch wide, and about five inches long. The handle adds another six inches in length. The bristles are about an inch long, and very stiff, with sharp ends. Some of them seem to be rusted.
You try to picture yourself brushing your teeth with it, and fail.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-elephant
''An elephant''
You have an elephant.
It fits very neatly in the backpack.
Who knows, maybe you'll find a use for it... I'm sure I don't know what, though.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
02-Inven-backpack
''A backpack''
You have a packpack. It's blue with red stripes (flashy!). It looks very normal on the outside. When you look inside it, though, you have a hard time seeing the bottom. There seems to be something funny about it. When you reach into it, you can't seem to ''reach'' the bottom, either.
Other than that it seems like a rather ordinary backpack.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
.KEEP
X=[%0] ; Q=[%add(*, Started, Inside)]
000-Start-00
''(In the bedroom)''
<table>
<tr>
<td>
</td>
<td>
<table style="border:3px solid;">
<tr>
<td>
</td>
<td>
<center>
<i>If you haven't been here before you should probably <u><b>[[../The-rules|read the rules]]</b></u> before you do anything else. This is not all that much like other games on this site no matter how it may look at first glance.
</i>
</center>
</td>
<td>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
You are standing in a bedroom, looking out the window. You appear to be on the second floor.
The yard below you has scrubby grass growing in it, save for a bare patch almost directly below the window. There are trees surrounding the yard. No other houses are visible.
The window is closed, locked, and there are bars over it.
Inside the room, there's a single bed.
There's a door into another room, and a closet.
You seem to hear music playing, faint and far away. When you try to listen to it, you can't hear it; when you try to ignore it, then you hear it. You're not sure, but you think it's the Scarecrow's song from The Wizard of Oz.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Open-window-Q|Open the window]]
* [[../Throw-bed-Q|Throw the bed out the window]]
* [[../Livingroom-Q|Go into the other room]]
* [[../Look-closet-Q|Look in the closet]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
The-rules
{{Sensible}}
''(Some boring but unexpected rules -- Beware, they may also be obsolescent, incomplete, and/or eronneous.)''
This game is '''not like''' others on this site.
It resulted from a bout of extreme madness during which the author stopped all other activities (except eating, sleeping, drinking coffee, running to the bathroom, and pretending to work from time to time) in order to write a totally over the top Python program, cv_dungeon_2, to compile adventure game code to run on Illogicopedia. The Python program is a descendant of the (far simpler) Perl program, cv_dungeon, which was used to build the Celestial Pirates and The Stench.
The result of this insanity is that this "game" can remember what you have done, what you have picked up, and what state you're in, and it can do it almost as well as a "real" adventure game. One consequence of this is that game play is generally ''not linear'' -- you can visit most locations as often as you like (unless you move through a one-way door, of which there are a few in the game).
Consequently:
* Doing the ''same thing'' the ''same way'' another time may produce a different result
* Doing the same thing after you find some other stuff may produce a different result
* Doing two things in one order may produce a totally different result from doing the same two things in the other order
Combining that with a few hidden links and some nice randomly generated mazes would produce a game which was flat out impossible to get through. That's no fun for anybody. So, in order to make it possible to get through it, this game follows some rules.
# All the links you need to click are apparent. No links hidden in the dungeonmaster's armpits (unlike Celestial Pirates 2, for instance).
# There may be a maze here, because they're fun to make, but if you get into something totally impossible, you can just punt -- there shouldn't be anything vital hidden inside the maze(s).
# There ''is'' an ending and you ''can'' get to it. (That will have been tested before the game was mainspaced.) And believe me, you will know it when you get there.
''However'' there are some points to be made here about rules this game does '''''not''''' follow.
# It may lie to you or give you bad advice. If the game tells you "you can't...." it may be true or it may not. If it tells you "You should...", well, maybe you should, and maybe you shouldn't. It may also totally misrepresent certain items (somewhat like the fire extinguisher in The Stench).
# If you mess up early on, you may not know it, and you may just find yourself jammed at some much later point. There will ''usually'' be a way to go back and fix things without actually starting over but that is not a guarantee.
# There may be ''clues'' buried in unlikely places. You may not need to look through your inventory to find a link that needs clicking, but that doesn't mean there's nothing in there which you need to know. ''Examine everything you pick up.'' (You do that by clicking its link in the Inventory list.)
'''''A hmm... Just how hard is this game?'''''
It is theoretically possible to win it. The game designer has played it all the way through (or should have done that, anyway) before mainspacing it.
But, how ''hard'' would that be? Well, let me put it this way: I'm planning on putting a "You beat the game!" sticker which you can put on your user page ''in the first room after you get underground.'' 'Cause anybody who gets that far will deserve it.
''And that's just the beginning of the game...''
'''''This sounds kinda stupid. What's the point?'''''
The point of this is that the author had a blast writing it.
Whether anyone will have a blast ''playing'' it is another question.
'''''But is there a point to the game itself? It seems senseless.'''''
Oh, it's not senseless. It's a bit random, it's got a major dose of illogic, but there's also a point. A real goal. You were even told what it was in the very first room, but you probably weren't listening.
But you don't need to understand the point in order to play the game, so don't worry about it. You just need to get to the goal, and then all will be clear. (Monstrously clear.)
But to get to the goal you need to <s>defeat Morgoth and</s> arrive at the third level below <s>Angband</s> the opening....
'''''Hints'''''
In a few places in the game, where something seemed excessively obscure, you may find a footnote which offers you a link to a ''hint''. Do '''not''' click through the link unless you really want the hint, because it's likely to give something away that you might have preferred to figure out on your own.
Note, furthermore, that '''''the hints are context dependent'''''. The ''same'' hint link in the ''same'' room may '''not''' always lead to the same hint -- the hint given may depend on exactly what you've already done, and on what you're carrying with you.
'''''Cheating'''''
There's a link at the bottom of the inventory list, called something like "Additional Secret State". ''It's cheating to click that link.'' And it may not help anyway.
Oh, yeah, and you can also look at the offsets in the location bar to see where you're going and where you've been, and you can even type in random offsets there to see what happens. That's all cheating, too. And it may not help either, due to the way the compiler incontinently assigns room numbers to everything under the sun and then garbage collects all the unused rooms, without compacting the offset space afterward. (If you see what I mean.)
You can also hit 'Go Insane' and try to make sense of what you see. But that's not recommended except for masochists (though there are a few automatically generated comments in the compiled code which could be helpful, I suppose).
And finally, there's the Star Wars approach. ''Use the Force: Read the source!'' (Source will be certainly be posted if and when this goes into mainspace.)
'''''What's that business about 'steps' supposed to mean?'''''
You mean, "you'll never get it up the steps"?
Well, have you ever played Adventure...?
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
X=[%with(Started, Inside) & %without(WindowOpen)]
Bedroom-X
''(In the bedroom)''
You are standing in a bedroom. You appear to be on the second floor.
The yard below you has scrubby grass growing in it, save for a bare patch almost directly below the window. There are trees surrounding the yard. No other houses are visible.
The window is closed, locked, and there are bars over it.
Inside the room, there's a single bed.
There's a door into another room, and a closet.
What would you like to do?
#if (X=[%with(Crater)])
<ref>You might benefit from a '''[[../Blew-up-jug-hint-T|hint]]'''.</ref>
#elseif (X=[%without(JugGone)])
<ref>Would you like a '''[[../Bedroom-jug-still-there-T|hint]]'''?</ref>
#else
<ref>Would you like a '''[[../Bedroom-drank-nitroglycerin-T|hint]]'''?</ref>
#endif
* [[../Open-window-X|Open the window]]
* [[../Throw-bed-X|Throw the bed out the window]]
* [[../Livingroom-X|Go into the other room]]
* [[../Look-closet-X|Look in the closet]]
* [[../Jump-window-X|Jump out the window]]
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
Bedroom-jug-still-there-T
There's a lot you can do in the bedroom, but not yet -- you need more preparation.
Go explore some more and come back here later.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
Bedroom-drank-nitroglycerin-T
Everything's going peachily, and you don't really need a hint at this point.
But you asked for one, so here it is:
You really need to get that window open. (Somehow.)
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,WindowOpen)]
Bedroom-X
''(In the bedroom)''
You are standing in a bedroom. You appear to be on the second floor.
The yard below you has scrubby grass growing in it, save for a bare patch almost directly below the window. There are trees surrounding the yard. No other houses are visible.
The window has been crudely broken out of its frame.
There's a door into another room, and a closet.
#if (X=[%with(Snails)])
There are large blue and purple snails sliming up and down the walls. ''How odd'' you think. ''I seem to recall the bedroom snails as being green and black, not blue and purple''
#endif
What would you like to do?
#if (X=[%without(BedMoved)])
<ref>Would you like a '''[[../Bedroom-bed-in-way-hint-T|hint]]'''?</ref>
#elseif (X=[%without(Elephant)])
<ref>You may need a '''[[../Bedroom-no-elephant-hint-T|hint]]'''.</ref>
#else
<ref>Would you like a '''[[../Bedroom-have-elephant-hint-T|hint]]'''?</ref>
#endif
* [[../Livingroom-X|Go into the other room]]
* [[../Look-closet-X|Look in the closet]]
* [[../Jump-window-X|Jump out the window]]
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
Bedroom-bed-in-way-hint-T
Congratulations on getting the window open!
However, there's something more you need to do before you can make progress here.
Have you tried jumping out the window?
If it's all still obscure, check for further hints after you do that...
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
Bedroom-no-elephant-hint-T
You're doing really well here!
However, you're missing something you need to make progress here.
Go explore some more and come back to this room later.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
Bedroom-have-elephant-hint-T
You don't need a hint. You just need courage.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside) & %without(WindowOpen)]
Open-window-X
''(In the bedroom)''
You try to open the window. However, it's padlocked -- ''and you don't have the key'' -- and there are bars over it. You won't be opening it any time soon. The clear part seems to be made of plastic, so you're also not going to break it without a major effort.
This makes you wonder a bit about what's going on here. If you remembered how you got here it might help. The question doesn't seem very interesting just now, however. Breakfast seems like a much more pressing issue.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Livingroom-X|Go into the other room]]
* [[../Throw-bed-X|Throw the bed out the window]]
* [[../Look-closet-X|Look in the closet]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside) & %without(WindowOpen) & %without(Ate)]
Throw-bed-X
''(In the bedroom)''
You attempt to throw the bed out the window.
That doesn't work so well. You lower your ambitions.
You attempt to move the bed over to the window.
That doesn't work so well, either. The thing is ''heavy''.
Maybe you should do something else.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Livingroom-X|Go into the other room]]
* [[../Look-closet-X|Look in the closet]]
* [[../Throw-bed-X|Try again to throw the bed out the window]]
* [[../Jump-window-X|Jump out the window]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,Ate) & %without(WindowOpen)] ; Q=[%add(*,WindowOpen,BedOut)]
Throw-bed-X
''(In the bedroom)''
You start by giving the bed a good swift kick. It skitters across the floor in a most satisfying way. Wow, you feel strong, ever since you had that great liquid breakfast!
You pick up the bed with one hand, wind up, and with a mighty heave, you throw it across the room at the window.
There's a shattering crash, and bed, bars, window, and a chunk of the wall vanish into the yard.
Wow! That was fun!
What would you like to do?
* [[../Livingroom-Q|Go into the other room]]
* [[../Look-closet-Q|Look in the closet]]
* [[../Jump-window-Q|Jump out the window]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,BedMoved,Elephant) & %without(Hole)] ; Q=[%replace(*, Inside: Outside,Hole)]
Jump-window-X
''(Stuck)''
You attempt to do a swan dive out the window. (Which would land you on your head, of course.)
Luckily for you, the weight of the elephant in your backpack shifts your center of gravity, and you actually ''land on your feet.''
Not so luckily, carrying an extra 10,000 pounds of elephant makes for a rather hard landing.
So hard, in fact, that you punch a hole in the grown where you land -- it's your own little crater.
Unfortunately, you also seem to have broken at least one of your legs. Good luck with getting up again.
What would you like to do next?
* [[../Crawl-T|Crawl out of the hole and get back to the house]]
* [[../Yell-help-Q|Yell for help]]
* [[../Phone-help-T|Call for help on your cellphone]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
Crawl-T
You pull yourself out of the hole and start crawling painfully toward the kitchen door.
The blue and red snails from the front yard recognize you as Wounded Prey. In your present state, they're much faster than you.
They surround you, snag you with their tiny spears, drag you to their subterranean city, and eat you. (And I bet you thought they were just a hallucination!)
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Hole)]
Yell-help-X
''(Stuck)''
You yell loudly for help, hoping someone -- a neighbor, perhaps -- will hear you.
''You shout, and no one seems to hear...''
What now?<ref>Before things get hairier (and they will), would you like a '''[[../Jump-window-hint-T|hint]]'''?</ref>
* [[../Crawl-T|Crawl out of the hole and get back to the house]]
* [[../Yell-help-2-X|Yell some more]]
* [[../Phone-help-T|Call for help on your cellphone]]
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
Jump-window-hint-T
Congratulations -- you've almost made it a long way toward getting somewhere!
But, as you may have noticed, you are currently in a rather sticky bind.
You may find you need to do ''more than one thing'' in order to get yourself unstuck.
And, in case you're wondering ... yes, it ''does'' matter what order you do things in.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Hole)]
Yell-help-2-X
''(Stuck)''
You yell even louder. You scream, you cry, you cough, you pound on the ground with your fists.
Nobody shows up to check on the racket.
What now?
* [[../Crawl-T|Crawl out of the hole and get back to the house]]
* [[../Yell-help-3-T|Yell some more]]
* [[../Phone-help-2-X|Call for help on your cellphone]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
Yell-help-3-T
''(Stuck)''
You yell until your voice cracks.
And somebody comes! One of the neighbors heard you! They've come to ... uh ... to ... well, not exactly to ''rescue'' you.
What is that thing, anyway? It walks funny.
Oh, crud. It's a werewolf.
A hungry one.
.LOSE
================================================================
Phone-help-T
''(Stuck)''
You pull out the cellphone from your pocket ... is it really yours? You sure don't recognize it. Anyhow, whosever it may be, you punch in 911, and yell for help when someone picks up.
Help, you're told, will arrive ''within five minutes.''
It doesn't. You wait, and you wait, and half an hour goes by.
And then, five things dressed in EMT uniforms and carrying a defibrillator emerge around the corner of the house. They shamble, they shuffle, they drop bits and pieces as they walk -- they're ''zombies!''
What they want with the defibrillator is beyond anyone's guess. But it's totally obvious what they want with ''you''.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Hole)] ; Q=[%replace(*, Outside: Inside)]
Phone-help-2-X
''(Back in the Bedroom)''
You pull out the cellphone from your pocket ... is it really yours? You sure don't recognize it. Anyhow, whosever it may be, you punch in 911, and yell for help when someone picks up. Help, you're told, will arrive ''within five minutes.''
It doesn't. You wait, and you wait, and nothing happens.
And then, at long last, someone comes -- from ''out of the woods''. They're not here in response to your phone call -- they're here as a result of all that yelling! It just took them a while to come over and check on stuff.
Unfortunately, they look ... um, well, they don't look quite ''human''. In fact, oh dear, that looks like a werewolf.
But then, before the wolfie type gets more than halfway across the yard, five ''things'' dressed in EMT uniforms and carrying a defibrillator come around the corner of the house. 911 to the rescue!! But jeeze -- they're not human, either! They're ''zombies!''
A scene of inhuman inhumanness ensues. You cover your eyes to block out the really gooshy sight. When you look again, there's nothing much left except a few random body parts lying on the grass. Unfortunately, you're still stuck.
And then, something else comes around the corner of the house. It's a Saint Bernard!
Or something like that. It's huffing and puffing, it's five feet tall, it's purple, and it has a long wiggly trunk. And it's trumpeting apologies to you for being so late as it galumphs over to you, hoists you onto its back, and galumphs off to the hospital.
<hr>
Three weeks pass while your leg heals.
<hr>
You're back! You're in the bedroom. The wall has not been fixed. And you still don't know any more than you knew before.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Livingroom-Q|Go into the other room]]
* [[../Jump-window-Q|Jump out the window]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,BedMoved,Hole)]
Jump-window-X
Boy were you pushing your luck! Last time you did this you broke your leg.
This time you broke your neck.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,BedMoved) & %without(Elephant)] ; Q=[%replace (*, Inside : Outside)]
Jump-window-X
You do a lovely swan dive out the window.
Head first.
Man oh man was that a bad plan.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,WindowOpen) & %without(BedMoved)]
Jump-window-X
''(In the bedroom)''
You make a glorious swan dive through the open window.
Wow, what a view of the countryside! On the way down, you get a glimpse of trees all around ''(how come there aren't any other houses around here, anyway?)'' and some white fluffy clouds.
And then you hit ... ''the bed'', which you threw out the window.
'''''BOING!!'''''
You bounce on the mattress, go sailing back up into the sky, and you find yourself ... ''right back in the bedroom where you started!''
That was exhilarating but kind of useless, wouldn't you say?
What would you like to do now?<ref>Perhaps you could use a '''[[../Jump-window-bounce-hint-T|hint]]'''.</ref>
* [[../Livingroom-X|Go into the other room]]
* [[../Look-closet-X|Look in the closet]]
* [[../Jump-window-X|Jump out the window]]
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
Jump-window-bounce-hint-T
OK, you jumped out the window.
And you wound up right back where you started. That's not exactly what I'd call "''progress''".
That bed makes a great trampoline, doesn't it?
Maybe you should try to think of something you could do about that, and then come back here later.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside) & %without(WindowOpen)]
Jump-window-X
You take a running dive for the closed window.
You bump your nose on the glass.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside)]
Look-closet-X
''(In the bedroom)''
You open the closet door.
It smells pretty bad in there. And it's dark.
You squinch your eyes, and wait a while, and they kind of dark adapt a little, and you look some more, and it appears that the only thing in the closet is an enormous pile of dirty socks.
A little digging convinces you that, yup, they're socks, and yup, they're dirty.
You close the closet door again.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Livingroom-X|Go into the other room]]
#if (X=[%without(BedOut)])
* [[../Throw-bed-X|Throw the bed out the window]]
#endif
* [[../Look-closet-X|Look in the closet again]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside)]
Livingroom-X
''(Livingroom)''
You are in a livingroom. You can't recall ever seeing this room before.
There's an oddly patterned rug on it which makes your head feel all funny if you look at it too long.
There's a rather old and rickety card table on the rug.
There are a couple of chairs here.
#if (X = [%without(Elephant)])
There's an elephant here. It appears to be an Indian elephant, and it's apparently full grown, with rather long tusks. It's standing on the table. You're not sure about the elephant; you don't seem to recall having one of those, and you rather wonder where it might have come from. Perhaps you got it at one of those sales they keep having at Costco.
#if (X=[%with(Backpack)])
<ref>You don't really need a '''[[../Livingroom-have-backpack-hint-T|hint]]''', but if you really want one...</ref>
#elseif (X=[%with(Skis)])
<ref>Would you like a small '''[[../Livingroom-have-skis-hint-T|hint]]'''?</ref>
#endif
#endif
There's a door which you think might lead to the bedroom, and another presumably leads somewhere else.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Kitchen-X|Go somewhere else]]
* [[../Bedroom-X|Go into the bedroom]]
#if (X=[%without(Elephant)])
* [[../LR-Get-elephant-X|Get the elephant]]
#endif
* [[../LR-Look-under-table-X|Look under the table]]
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
Livingroom-have-backpack-hint-T
You really don't need a hint at this point. However, you asked for one, so here it is:
I see you've got a very spiffy backpack there.
Have you noticed anything unusual about it?
Well, have you looked inside it? (You know, 'Inventory' and all that.)
Errrm -- still don't get it?
Well, does the term "Bag of Holding" mean anything to you?
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
Livingroom-have-skis-hint-T
There's something useful you can do in this room. However, it's going to require some equipment.
You've got ''some'' stuff, but I don't think it's quite enough.
Go explore some more and come back here later.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside) & %without(Elephant)]
LR-Look-under-table-X
You look under the card table.
Hey, it looks like somebody left a Parcheesi game here! You set up the board and roll the dice.
The elephant (remember the elephant? The one that's standing on the table, six inches above your head?) turns out to like Parcheesi. It leans over the edge of the table, and reaches down with its trunk to take the dice so it can take a turn.
Unfortunately that's more than the rickety card table can deal with. It collapses.
Guess where the elephant lands.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,Elephant)]
LR-Look-under-table-X
''(Livingroom)''
There's ''nothing'' under the table.
I mean, really nothing. It's just a blank space, like somebody forgot to draw that bit of the universe.
Strange.
* [[../Kitchen-X|Go somewhere else]]
* [[../Bedroom-X|Go into the bedroom]]
* [[../LR-Look-under-table-X|Look under the table again]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Inside) & %without(Elephant) & %without(Ate)]
LR-Get-elephant-X
''(Livingroom)''
You want to ''get the elephant?''
It's a full grown Indian elephant with <s>three</s> four foot long tusks.
It must weigh ... oh whatever, I have no idea what a full grown elephant weighs. Probably at least 500 alley cats. Can you imagine picking up 500 alley cats ''all at the same time?'' Didn't think so!
Similarly, and for similar reasons, you can't ''"get"'' the elephant.
So what would you like to do instead?
* [[../Kitchen-X|Go somewhere else]]
* [[../Bedroom-X|Go into the bedroom]]
* [[../LR-Look-under-table-X|Look under the table]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Inside,Ate) & %without(Elephant) & %without(Backpack)]
LR-Get-elephant-X
''Get'' the elephant? One can but try, I suppose...
So, with your new-found hyperenergized strength, fueled by a quart of coffee mixed with orange juice, you seize the elephant by its trunk and give a mighty heave.
The elephant trumpets in protest, the card table collapses, everybody falls down, and guess who's on the bottom of the heap.
Under that elephant....
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Inside,Ate,Backpack) & %without(Elephant)] ; Q=[%add(*, Elephant)]
LR-Get-elephant-X
''(Livingroom)''
You get the elephant.
It fits neatly in the backpack.
* [[../Kitchen-Q|Go somewhere else]]
* [[../Bedroom-Q|Go into the bedroom]]
* [[../LR-Look-under-table-Q|Look under the table]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started)] ; Q=[%replace(*, Outside, SkiSlope : Inside)]
Kitchen-X
''(In the Kitchen)''
You are standing in a kitchen.
There is a door leading up a flight of stairs, and there's another door leading outside.
There's a window over the sink.
#if (X=[%with(KitchenWindowOpen)])
It's open.
#endif
There's a refrigerator. It appears to be steaming.
There's stove, which is inexplicably covered with snow.
What would you like to do?
#if (Q=[%with(Ate) & %without(Truck)])
* [[../Kitchen-play-snow-Q|Play in the snow]]
#endif
* [[../Kitchen-look-fridge-Q|Look in the refrigerator]]
* [[../Kitchen-climb-window-Q|Climb out the window]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-Q|Go outside through the door]]
* [[../Livingroom-Q|Go upstairs]]
#if (X=[%without(KitchenWindowOpen)])
* [[../Kitchen-open-window-Q|Open the window]]
#endif
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started, Inside) & %without(KitchenWindowOpen)] ; Q=[%add(*, KitchenWindowOpen)]
Kitchen-open-window-X
''(In the Kitchen)''
You open the window.
Strangely enough, even though the window is made of some tough plasticky stuff, and there are bars over it, and there's a hasp for a padlock, the padlock was missing and the window wasn't locked, so it was easy. (Somebody's getting sloppy, I guess.)
In addition to the window, there is a door leading to a flight of stairs, and there's another door leading outside.
There's a refrigerator. It appears to be steaming.
There's stove, which is inexplicably covered with snow.
What would you like to do?
#if (Q=[%with(Ate) & %without(Truck)])
* [[../Kitchen-play-snow-Q|Play in the snow]]
#endif
* [[../Kitchen-look-fridge-Q|Look in the refrigerator]]
* [[../Kitchen-climb-window-Q|Climb out the window]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-Q|Go outside through the door]]
* [[../Livingroom-Q|Go upstairs]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside)]
Kitchen-look-fridge-X
''(In the Kitchen)''
You look in the refrigerator.
There's nothing there. (Not even an empty pizza box.)
#if (X=[%without(JugGone)])
Oh, wait -- yes there is something here! There's a clear plastic jug of something in the door. It's sort of a yellowish brown liquid, about the same color as nitroglycerin.
#endif
The freezer doesn't even have ice cubes in it.
Do you actually live here? You're starting to wonder...
What would you like to do?
#if (X=[%without(KitchenWindowOpen)])
* [[../Kitchen-open-window-X|Open the window]]
#endif
#if (X=[%without(JugGone)])
* [[../Throw-jug-X|Throw the pitcher of nitroglycerin out the window]]
* [[../Taste-jug-X|Drink the nitroglycerin]]
#endif
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-X|Go outside]]
* [[../Kitchen-cupboards-T|Look in the cupboards]]
* [[../Livingroom-X|Go upstairs]]
#if (X=[%with(Ate) & %without(Truck)])
* [[../Kitchen-play-snow-X|Play in the snow]]
#endif
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
Kitchen-cupboards-T
The kitchen has a number of cupboards. Just like everything else in the house, they're painted white.
You tug on one of the doors, but it doesn't seem to want to open.
Then you tug ''really hard'' and suddenly ''all the doors pop open at once!''
And they're all ''totally packed'' with tightly folded ''mice!''
The mice unfold over you in a massive wave of furry squeaking.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,KitchenWindowOpen) & %without(JugGone)] ; Q=[%add(*, JugGone, Crater)]
Throw-jug-X
''(In the Kitchen)''
You seize the jug of nitroglycerin (''carefully!'') and heave it out the window.
As the jug hits the ground outside the kitchen window, there is a thunderous explosion. You see a spout of dirt shooting up outside the window.
(I guess it really ''was'' nitroglycerin...)
What would you like to do?
#if (Q=[%with(Ate) & %without(Truck)])<!-- In fact this will never be true in this room, but it's harmless to check it anyway -->
* [[../Kitchen-play-snow-Q|Play in the snow]]
#endif
* [[../Kitchen-look-fridge-Q|Look in the refrigerator]]
* [[../Kitchen-climb-window-Q|Climb out the window]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-Q|Go outside through the door]]
* [[../Livingroom-Q|Go upstairs]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside) & %without(KitchenWindowOpen)]
Throw-jug-X
''(In the Kitchen)''
You seize the jug of nitroglycerin (''carefully!'') and heave it out the window.
Oh whoops -- the window's closed!
With a crash and a splash the jug hits the window and the contents goes all over the place -- all over the room, all over the floor, all over the ceiling, and all over '''''you'''''.
You drown.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside) & %without(JugGone)] ; Q=[%add(*, Ate, JugGone)]
Taste-jug-X
''(In the Kitchen)''
You gingerly pick up the pitcher of nitroglycerin and ''taste'' it.
Hey -- it's not nitroglycerin after all! It's a jug of really strong coffee, mixed with some orange juice!
Wow -- breakfast you can drink!
So you do that. Boy do you feel great now! As awake as six cops on riot duty, and as strong as two horses!
With your clearer head, you're also ''noticing'' things much more clearly than you did before -- like all those pale blue gerbils (you know, the kind with the dark green spots) that are sitting on the edges of the counters and watching you. You hadn't noticed them at ''all'' before you drank the <s>nitroglycerin</s> Instant Breakfast.
What would you like to do?
#if (Q=[%with(Ate) & %without(Truck)])
* [[../Kitchen-play-snow-Q|Play in the snow]]
#endif
* [[../Kitchen-look-fridge-Q|Look in the refrigerator]]
* [[../Kitchen-climb-window-Q|Climb out the window]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-Q|Go outside through the door]]
* [[../Livingroom-Q|Go upstairs]]
#if (X=[%without(KitchenWindowOpen)])
* [[../Kitchen-open-window-Q|Open the window]]
#endif
* [[../Throw-fridge-T|Throw the refrigerator out the window]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,Ate)] ; Q=[%replace(*, Inside : SkiSlope, Skis, SkiPoles)]
Kitchen-play-snow-X
''(In the snow)''
You close your eyes and take a flying leap into the layer of snow which covers the stove.
Much to your surprise, you plunge into what feels like a deep snow drift.
You pop out the other side of the drift, open your eyes, and enjoy the scenery as you ski down the side of the mountain.<ref>What? Why are you wearing skis all of a sudden? Why, because you're skiing, of course! I thought that was obvious.</ref> You do wonder a bit about the ski poles, though. They're Whizzalot brand carbon fiber poles, and you've never used any brand other than Freefall. So where did these come from? But your mind wanders off again before you get anywhere with that thought.
After a glorious run down a hillside dotted with picturesque obstacles, including a number of pine trees, some saguaro cacti, and a wrecked Oscar Meyer Wiener truck, you arrive at the bottom and ski to a stop just outside a quaint little coffee house.
There's also a ski lift stop here.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Coffee-shop-Q|Enter the coffee shop]]
* [[../Ski-lift-Q|Get on the ski lift]]
* [[../Ski-walk-up-hill-Q|Walk back up the hill]]
.INVEN(Q)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
X=[%with(SkiSlope)]
Ski-lift-X
''(On the ski lift)''
You climb up the stairs to the ski lift, and a chair arrives at the same time you do. You hop on, and it lofts you into the sky.
Wow, this is lovely -- the only way to travel! You're far above the snow mice and the pink flying frogs that kept bugging you earlier.
You feel so wonderful, so ''celestial'', almost like you could just glide across the hillside like some great bird!
What would you like to do?
* [[../Ski-lift-2-T|Stay on the ski lift -- flying across the mountainside doesn't sound like a good plan.]]
* [[../Ski-lift-jump-X|Jump off the chair lift and see what happens]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(SkiSlope)] ; Q=[%replace(*,SkiSlope : Inside)]
Ski-lift-jump-X
You ... ''jump off!''
You sail like a bird!
A bird that's flying straight down, of course.
You fly head first into a huge snow bank.
For a moment all goes dark, and then you pop out the other side in a cloud of snow ...
''You're back in the kitchen!''
There is a door leading up a flight of stairs, and there's another door leading outside.
There's a window over the sink.
#if (X=[%with(KitchenWindowOpen)])
It's open.
#endif
There's a refrigerator. It appears to be steaming.
There's stove, which is inexplicably covered with snow.
What would you like to do?
#if (Q=[%with(Ate) & %without(Truck)])
* [[../Kitchen-play-snow-Q|Play in the snow]]
#endif
* [[../Kitchen-look-fridge-Q|Look in the refrigerator]]
* [[../Kitchen-climb-window-Q|Climb out the window]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-Q|Go outside through the door]]
* [[../Livingroom-Q|Go upstairs]]
#if (X=[%without(KitchenWindowOpen)])
* [[../Kitchen-open-window-Q|Open the window]]
#endif
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
Ski-lift-2-T
You stay on the lift, like a well behaved skier, and it goes on up, and up, and all the way to the top of the slope, and on to the flat spot on the mountain at the top, and ... hey wait, there's no flat spot on the top of the mountain. It just looked that way from down below.
It's actually a ''crater!''
OMG this hill is a ''volcano!'' And it's ''active!'' You just went over the rim, you're going straight down, into ... into ...
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,SkiSlope)]
Ski-leave-donut-shop-X
''(On the ski lift)''
You hurry out of the shop while the employees are still digging themselves out from under heaps of sugar frosted donuts, and trot over to the ski lift station. Lucky for you, the lift is running, and a chair arrives at the same time you do. You hop on, and it lofts you into the sky; as you look back, you see police cars arriving at the shop. You left just in time!
Wow, this is lovely -- the only way to travel! You're far above the snow mice and the pink flying frogs that kept bugging you earlier.
You feel so wonderful, so ''celestial'', almost like you could just glide across the hillside like some great bird!
What would you like to do?
* [[../Ski-lift-2-T|Stay on the ski lift -- flying across the mountainside doesn't sound like a good plan.]]
* [[../Ski-lift-jump-X|Jump off the chair lift and see what happens]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(SkiSlope) & %without(Wienerdogs)]
Ski-walk-up-hill-X
''(By the wiener truck)''
You walk up the ski slope. Everything's fine to start with but then the snow mice notice you, and more and more of them come out and dance around on you the snow, pointing at you and laughing. You're starting to feel really uncomfortable when you find yourself at the wrecked Oscar Meyer wiener truck.
Hey, it's not so badly wrecked after all! Thinking maybe you can at least get away from the snow mice for a while, you climb in.
What would you like to do now?
* [[../Ski-turn-on-heater-T|It's really cold here. Turn on the truck's heater.]]
* [[../Ski-drive-up-T|Drive on up the slope]]
* [[../Ski-get-dogs-X|Pick up a package of wiener dogs from the back]]
* [[../Ski-drive-across-T|Drive across the slope, over to the side where the ski lift goes up]]
* [[../Ski-drive-down-X|Drive down the slope, back the way you came]]
* [[../Ski-get-out-T|Get out of the truck and walk back down the slope]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(SkiSlope) & %without(Wienerdogs)] ; Q=[%add(*,Wienerdogs)]
Ski-get-dogs-X
''(By the wiener truck)''
You pick up a package of Oscar Meyer wiener dogs, in case you get hungry later.
You're still inside the wrecked (or not so wrecked) truck.
What would you like to do now?
* [[../Ski-turn-on-heater-T|It's really cold here. Turn on the truck's heater.]]
* [[../Ski-drive-up-T|Drive on up the slope]]
* [[../Ski-drive-across-T|Drive across the slope, over to the side where the ski lift goes up]]
* [[../Ski-drive-down-Q|Drive down the slope, back the way you came]]
* [[../Ski-get-out-T|Get out of the truck and walk back down the slope]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
Ski-drive-up-T
You buzz up the slope in the wiener truck. Wow, it's powerful, it's fast, this is fun!
You really give it the gas. You're flying along, you've passed the place where you popped out of the snow drift, you're going right on, right on up to the top of the hill!
You've passed the end of the ski lift -- for some reason it doesn't go all the way to the top. Strange.
You're at a little lip near the top -- it's flattening out, boy you're really zooming along -- it's dipping down...
OMG this hill is a ''volcano!'' And it's ''active!'' You just went over the rim, you're going straight down, into ... into ...
.LOSE
================================================================
Ski-turn-on-heater-T
You turn on the heater.
Lovely, comfortably warm, soft furry air comes out. It feels great.
But then it makes a sort of coughing noise, and the air cuts off. Something seems to be stuck in it. And then, with a little "Pop!", a cloud of warm air rushes out, along with a cloud of ''snow mice!'' There must be hundreds of them, they're all over the truck, you can't see out the windshield, you can't even see to find your way to the door, and they're squeaking, oh Lord the squeaking, it's terrible, it's driving you mad, you can't stand it, you can't stand another second of that unspeakable ''squeaking...''
.LOSE
================================================================
Ski-get-out-T
You get out of the truck again.
Oh, no -- while you were in the truck even more snow mice came along. They're all around the truck, heaped up six inches deep, you can't get away from them, you can't get past them, you can't jump over them. They're squeaking at you in their fiendish little voices. You can't stand it, and you can't get away. And then they start throwing ''snowballs'' at you -- detestable, sticky, tiny snowballs, that aren't snowballs at all, they're really caterpillar eggs, eggs of those detestable ''snow caterpillars'', the kind that ate Chekov's brain just after he wrote the Cherry Orchard, all the sense is washing out of the sky and the caterpillars are crawling into your ears, whispering terrible things...
.LOSE
================================================================
Ski-drive-across-T
You drive the truck across the ski slope, in the direction of the ski lift. When you get there, you find an access road running up the side of the hill. You also find that the trucks brakes don't work.
You barrel straight across the access road (Kabump!) and through the guardrail on the other side (Kasmash!) on over a few boulders (Kabounce!) and straight on, right into a crevasse (Kakrunch!).
Oopsies!
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(SkiSlope)]
Ski-turn-down-hill-X
''(By the coffee house)''
You drive down the hill to the bottom, where the access road ends in a parking lot. You get out and look around.
You're back by the quaint little coffee house!
There's also a ski lift stop here.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Coffee-shop-X|Enter the coffee shop]]
* [[../Ski-lift-X|Get on the ski lift]]
* [[../Ski-walk-up-hill-X|Walk back up the hill]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(SkiSlope) & %without(Truck)]
Coffee-shop-X
''(By the coffee house)''
You walk into the coffee shop.
{{RandomChoose|4
|The inside of the shop is entirely filled with a brontosaurus skeleton. It's mounted on steel rods, with a little plaque in front of it giving details of the life and times of the sauropods. You look around for a clerk, but there don't seem to be any.
"Halloo!" you shout. "I'd like to order some donuts! Is there anyone here?"
"Donuts!" says a voice. "How quaint!" It's the brontosaurus skeleton. It's looking at you quizzically (neat trick, that, since it's just a skeleton, and it hasn't got any eyes). "Back in my day nobody ever asked for donuts!" it adds.
But then it gives a shout and there's a rustling from the back room. Six velociraptors riding velocipedes come squealing out of the back room carrying what you hope are donuts.
"Oooooo!" says one of them. "Dinner yum yum yum!" Um. You realize that they're not carrying donuts, they're carrying flame throwers, and it appears that the menu features barbecue, and you're going to be an integral part of it.
There's a ''snick'' and a ''whoosh'' as the first 'raptor fires up its flame thrower, and then the whole scene fades away, like a fever dream after the aspirin finally kicks in. You find yourself back on the ski slope.
|The shop is entirely filled with a hot tub. There are a couple of dolphins swimming around in the tub. One of them whistles at you, "Whatta ya want?"
You say you want some donuts and a cup of coffee.
Both dolphins start giggling uncontrollably. One jumps out of the hot tub and runs into a back room, while the other one entertains itself by splashing you. The first dolphin returns and hands you a bucket of fish. "Enjoy!" it whistles. "Coffee available next season!"
You're about to thank the dolphin and ask if they have any marmalade flavored fish, because the chocolate flavored ones in the bucket aren't really what you were looking for, when the whole scene wavers and drifts away like smoke on a summer breeze, and you find yourself standing on the ski slope.
|Wooo hoo -- they have donuts to die for here. They have whole racks of knitted donuts, in solid colors ''and'' paisley, as well as donuts made of pure carved butter, and their maple donuts are made of solid condensed maple syrup.
And the coffee -- they've got the regular flat kind, and they've also got ''carbonated'' coffee, as well as special coffee with gasoline added to it in case any Humvees come in for a cup.
You order a box of gym sock flavored donuts and a cup of kerosene, because it just sounds so ''unique''.
The clerk, who appears to be a five foot tall watermelon wrapped in aluminum foil, holds out one leaf and asks for 17 aluminum zorkmids. Unfortunately you haven't got any of those, as far as you know all you've ever had were chocolate zorkmids, but just as you're attempting to explain this, the whole coffee shop fades away before your eyes, and you find yourself standing on the ski slope.
|Yum -- they have donuts here like you've never seen before, and the coffee looks just divine -- they've got coffee in regular brown, and in pink, green, and blue, as well!
Your order a box of raisin coated crayfish donuts steamed in ''real beer'' and a large mug of the blue coffee.
The clerk, who has eyes the size of dinner plates with spiral pupils that spin every time you look at her, tells you in the whistling tones of a humpbacked whale that that will be 3.7123 zirconium plated zorkmids, please, and holds out one flipper.
Unfortunately you haven't got any of those, as far as you know all you've ever had were palladium plated zorkmids, but just as you're attempting to explain this, the whole coffee shop fades away before your eyes, and you find yourself standing on the ski slope.
}}
Did you even actually enter the coffee shop? You're not sure. Whatever, you certainly didn't get any donuts.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Coffee-shop-X|Try again to enter the coffee shop]]
* [[../Ski-lift-X|Get on the ski lift]]
* [[../Ski-walk-up-hill-X|Walk back up the hill]]
.INVEN(X)
<!--
****************************************************************
Macro which is useful for getting the actions straight in the several
copies of the wrecked coffee shop which we needed to code
-->
#defbegin .WRECKED_SHOP_OPTIONS(&st)
* [[../Ski-leave-donut-shop-&st|Get out of here before the cops arrive]]
#if (&st=[%without(Wienerdogs)])
* [[../Ski-get-dogs-at-shop-&st|Pick up a package of wiener dogs from the wreckage of the truck]]
#endif
* [[../Ski-drink-coffee-T|Drink a cup of coffee and eat a donut]]
<!--
#if (&st=[%without(Coffee)])
* [[../Ski-get-coffee-&st|Grab a thermos of coffee to take along]]
#endif
-->
#if (&st=[%without(Donuts)])
* [[../Ski-get-donuts-&st|Grab a box of donuts to take along]]
#endif
.INVEN(&st)
#defend
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,SkiSlope)] ; Q=[%add(*,Truck)]
Ski-drive-down-X
''(In the coffee house)''
You drive down the slope.
Wow, this truck is fast!
''Yeeeeeee HAH!''
Oh no, it has no brakes!
Boy are you going fast!
Oh, oops, here comes the donut shop!
Whoopseee .... '''''Wham!'''''
What do you know -- you're ''inside'' the donut shop (which is now missing its front wall). There are donuts all over the place.
And all this excitement has made you hungry.
What would you like to do?
.WRECKED_SHOP_OPTIONS(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,SkiSlope,Truck)] ; Q=[%add(*,Donuts)]
Ski-get-donuts-X
''(In the coffee shop)''
You pick up a box of donuts.
You're still inside the donut shop (which is now missing its front wall). There are donuts all over the place.
There is a wrecked Oscar Meyer Wiener truck here.
And all this excitement has made you hungry.
What would you like to do?
.WRECKED_SHOP_OPTIONS(Q)
<!--
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,SkiSlope)] ; Q=[%add(*,Coffee)]
Ski-get-coffee-X
''(In the coffee shop)''
You pick up a thermos of coffee.
You're still inside the donut shop (which is now missing its front wall). There are donuts all over the place.
There is a wrecked Oscar Meyer Wiener truck here.
And all this excitement has made you hungry.
What would you like to do?
.WRECKED_SHOP_OPTIONS(Q)
-->
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,SkiSlope,Truck)] ; Q=[%add(*,Wienerdogs)]
Ski-get-dogs-at-shop-X
''(In the coffee shop)''
You dig a package of Oscar Meyer wiener dogs out of the wreckage of the truck.
You're still inside the donut shop (which is now missing its front wall). There are donuts all over the place.
The wrecked Oscar Meyer Wiener truck is still here.
And all this excitement has made you hungry.
What would you like to do?
.WRECKED_SHOP_OPTIONS(Q)
================================================================
Ski-drink-coffee-T
You linger over a cup of coffee.
Meanwhile the cold leaks in through the missing front wall.
You finally decide it's time to leave ... ''but you can't.'' You've been sitting here so long in the cold, your bumm is frozen to the seat.
And your shoes are frozen to the floor.
You can never move again...
.LOSE
<!--
================================================================
Pick up donuts and a thermos of coffee
Put the hot dogs in with the donuts
Dogs leak on the donuts
We need three or four entrypoints into part 2 to make this work
-->
================================================================
Throw-fridge-T
You effortlessly pick up the refrigerator and lift it over your head in preparation for throwing it out the window.
And then -- whoops! -- you realize it weighs 600 pounds, including the compressor. You can't possibly lift something so heavy! You must be just imagining you can throw it!
And so you drop it.
But -- oh no -- you were standing directly under it when you dropped it!
Squish...
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside) & %without(KitchenWindowOpen)]
Kitchen-climb-window-X
You climb up on the sink and heave yourself out the window.
OMG it's ''closed!''
You bump your nose on the glass.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Inside,KitchenWindowOpen)] ; Q=[%replace(*, Inside: Outside)]
Kitchen-climb-window-X
''(Outside, behind the house)''
You climb up on the sink and heave yourself out the window.
You land on some dirt.
You're at the edge of a bare patch, in the middle of a scraggly lawn consisting mostly of weeds. There are woods surrounding the lawn. There's a door leading into the kitchen nearby.
#if (X=[%with(BedMoved)])
There is a bed here, off to one side, on the grass.
#elseif (X=[%with(BedOut)])
There is a bed here, in the middle of the bare patch.
#endif
#if (X=[%with(Crater)])
There is a rather deep crater in the ground, just outside the kitchen window. I dare say the nitroglycerin had something to do with that.
#endif
Gee, you think, this looks familiar! I've been here before!
And then you realize you haven't; it just looks familiar because you saw it from the bedroom window, earlier today.
#if (X=[%with(Snails)])
It's funny, you never noticed the big red and green snails before. Now you see they're in the backyard as well as the front yard. Have they always been here? You can't seem to recall.
#endif
#if (X=[%with(Hole)])
There's also a hole in the ground here. Small, but no obvious bottom. In fact, it looks like it might be a sinkhole.
#endif
What would you like to do?
* [[../Kitchen-X|Go back into the kitchen, through the door]]
#if (X=[%with(BedMoved) & %without(Hole)])
* [[../Move-bed-Q|Shove the bed over onto the bare patch]]
#elseif (X=[%with(BedOut) & %without(Hole)])
* [[../Move-bed-Q|Shove the bed over onto the grass]]
#endif
* [[../Stroll-around-yard-T|Take a walk around the yard]]
* [[../Front-of-house-Q|Walk around to the front of the house]]
* [[../Enter-woods-Q|Walk into the woods]]
#if (X=[%with(Hole)])
.LINK_PART_2
#endif
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started)] ; Q=[%replace(*, Inside,SkiSlope : Outside)]
Outside-by-kitchen-X
''(Outside, behind the house)''
You're at the edge of a bare patch, in the middle of a scraggly lawn consisting mostly of weeds. There are woods surrounding the lawn. There's a door leading into the kitchen nearby.
#if (X=[%with(BedMoved)])
There is a bed here, off to one side, on the grass.
#elseif (X=[%with(BedOut)])
There is a bed here, in the middle of the bare patch.
#endif
#if (X=[%with(Crater)])
There is a rather deep crater in the ground, just outside the kitchen window. I dare say the nitroglycerin had something to do with that.
#endif
Gee, you think, this looks familiar! I've been here before!
And then you realize you haven't; it just looks familiar because you saw it from the bedroom window, earlier today.
#if (X=[%with(Snails)])
It's funny, you never noticed the big red and green snails before. Now you see they're in the backyard as well as the front yard. Have they always been here? You can't seem to recall.
#endif
#if (X=[%with(Hole)])
There's also a hole in the ground here. Small, but no obvious bottom. In fact, it looks like it might be a sinkhole.
#endif
What would you like to do?
* [[../Kitchen-Q|Go into the kitchen, through the door]]
#if (X=[%with(BedMoved) & %without(Hole)])
* [[../Move-bed-Q|Shove the bed over onto the bare patch]]
#elseif (X=[%with(BedOut) & %without(Hole)])
* [[../Move-bed-Q|Shove the bed over onto the grass]]
#endif
* [[../Stroll-around-yard-T|Take a walk around the yard]]
* [[../Front-of-house-Q|Walk around to the front of the house]]
* [[../Enter-woods-Q|Walk into the woods]]
#if (X=[%with(Hole)])
.LINK_PART_2
#endif
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside)]
Front-of-house-X
''(Front lawn)''
You're in front of the house.
It's painted white.
"That's odd" you think to yourself. "Why aren't there any windows on this side of the house?" You don't have an answer.
<!-- You only see the snails after drinking the weird orange juice -->
#if (X=[%without(Ate)])
The front lawn is kind of unkempt. It's covered with dandelions.
#else
The front lawn is kind of unkempt. It's covered with dandelions and snails. Lots of snails, great big black and red ones, about three inches across. They're odd looking snails, though, because they're kind of blurred around the edges, and when you look directly at one of them it doesn't seem to be there -- they're only really there in the corners of your eyes. That seems unusual. You can't recall other snails doing that.
#endif
There's a van parked here. That's odd, too, since there's no driveway; it's just parked on the <s>grass</s> dandelions. There's also no road; you have no idea where the van came from. It's painted white, just like the house. It says "ECNALUBMA" in big letters on the front. It says some other things on the sides but when you try to think about what it says your mind wanders off somewhere else.
#if (X=[%without(Backpack)])
You try one of the doors. It's locked.
#if (X=[%with(Crater)])
<ref>You might benefit from a '''[[../Blew-up-jug-hint-T|hint]]'''.</ref>
#elseif (X=[%without(Rock)])
<ref>You probably don't want a '''[[../Van-rock-hint-T|hint]]''' at this point.</ref>
#endif
#endif
What ever shall you do?
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-X|Go around the house to the back]]
* [[../Enter-woods-X|Walk into the woods]]
#if (X=[%with(Snails)])
* [[../Climb-house-X|Climb the front of the house]]
#endif
* [[../Under-van-X|Crawl under the van]]
#if (X=[%with(Ate) & %without(Snails)])
* [[../Eat-snail-X|Taste one of the snails]]
#endif
#if (X=[%with(Rock) & %without(Backpack)])
* [[../Break-van-window-X|Break into the van. Smash a window and see what's inside.]]
#endif
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
Blew-up-jug-hint-T
A little while back, you blew something up.
You know, if you tried ''really'' hard, you might have been able to think of some other use for that thing.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
Van-rock-hint-T
There might be something useful inside that van.
But, as we've already noted, it's locked.
Perhaps you need some tool or object or something that would help with getting into it.
Maybe you should just keep exploring and come back here later.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
X=[%with(Outside,Rock)] ; Q=[%add(*,Backpack,Bandaid,Newsp,Toothbrush)]
Break-van-window-X
''(Front lawn)''
You pull out your rock (the one you got in the woods, remember?) and whack the van's windshield.
Nothing happens.
Then, wising up a little, you whack the side window with it.
Blooie! Glass all over!
You reach in, unlock the door, and voila, you're in. Amazingly, no alarm sounds.
You easily brush aside the cobwebs and spiders which seem to fill the van (how long has it been parked here, anyway?) and look around for anything good. You notice a backpack, a toothbrush, a box of bandages, and a rolled up newspaper, all of which you pick up. There seems to be nothing else except dust in here, though.
What next?
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-Q|Go around the house to the back]]
* [[../Enter-woods-Q|Walk into the woods]]
* [[../Climb-house-Q|Climb the front of the house]]
* [[../Under-van-Q|Crawl under the van]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Ate)] ; Q = [%add(*, Snails)]
Eat-snail-X
''(Front lawn)''
You taste one of the snails.
When you pick it up it feels furry on your fingers, not at all like a snail usually feels -- or does it? You can't actually remember ever picking up a snail before.
The snail sticks its antlers out and looks at you. It has blue eyes with long lashes -- four of them.
You taste the edge of its shell.
Where did it go? It was here a moment ago... Did you swallow the snail? You can't remember. Whatever, it's gone now.
What ever shall you do?
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-Q|Go around the house to the back]]
* [[../Enter-woods-Q|Walk into the woods]]
* [[../Climb-house-Q|Climb the front of the house]]
* [[../Under-van-Q|Crawl under the van]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Outside)]
Under-van-X
You crawl under the van.
The metal of the van is glowing softly, and the ground here is covered with worms. They're asking you to be careful and not squish them, in their tiny, high worm voices.
But I'm afraid there's no secret passage or anything.
So what next? Maybe you should....
* [[../Front-of-house-X|Crawl out from under the van again]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Snails)]
Climb-house-X
''(On the Roof)''
You slither slimily up the front of the house, just like a snail might have. What fun!
The only thing bothering you is the clouds of little pink mice that are flying around your ears. You really wish they'd stop it, or at least stop humming the Barney theme; it's driving you nuts. Or nutser. Or something.
#if (X=[%without(Antenna)])
There's a TV antenna here. How old fashioned!
#endif
There are also a bunch of shingles, and a patch of really nasty ice in the middle of the roof. You're careful not to slip on it. It strikes you as odd, since there usually isn't ice on the roof in August ... or is it August? You realize you're not sure.
What ever shall you do?
#if (X=[%with(Antenna) & %without(Skis)])
<ref>You might be able to use a '''[[../House-antenna-no-skis-hint-T|hint]]''' right about now.</ref>
#endif
#if (X=[%with(BedOut)])
* [[../Soft-land-X|Jump off the roof]]
#else
* [[../Hard-land-T|Jump off the roof]]
#endif
#if (X=[%with(Antenna)])
* [[../Front-of-house-slip-T|Climb down the front of the house]]<!-- Slip and fall off due to weight of antenna-->
#else
* [[../Front-of-house-X|Climb down the front of the house]]
#endif
#if (X=[%without(Antenna)])
* [[../Get-antenna-X|Put the TV antenna in your pocket]]
#endif
#if (X=[%with(Skis)])
* [[../House-ski-off-roof-X|Ski off the roof]]
#endif
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
House-antenna-no-skis-hint-T
You may have some trouble getting off the roof again.
You're missing something. You should probably explore some more and then try this again.
.NOINVENTORY
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Snails,BedOut)]
Soft-land-X
''(Outside, behind the house)''
You take a glorious flying leap off the roof.
After what seems like a lengthy flight around the yard, you find yourself bouncing on the bed, in the back yard.
After a couple of bounces, you land on the ground outside the kitchen door.
What would you like to do?
* [[../Kitchen-X|Go into the kitchen, through the door]]
#if (X=[%with(BedMoved) & %without(Hole)])
* [[../Move-bed-X|Shove the bed over onto the bare patch]]
#elseif (X=[%with(BedOut) & %without(Hole)])
* [[../Move-bed-X|Shove the bed over onto the grass]]
#endif
* [[../Stroll-around-yard-T|Take a walk around the yard]]
* [[../Front-of-house-X|Walk around to the front of the house]]
* [[../Enter-woods-X|Walk into the woods]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,BedOut) & %without(BedMoved) & %without(Hole)] ; Q=[%add(*,BedMoved)]
Move-bed-X
''(Outside, behind the house)''
You give the bed a mighty heave, and slide it onto the grass.
What next?
* [[../Kitchen-Q|Go into the kitchen, through the door]]
#if (X=[%with(BedMoved)])
* [[../Move-bed-Q|Shove the bed over onto the grass]]
#elseif (X=[%with(BedOut)])
* [[../Move-bed-Q|Shove the bed over onto the bare patch]]
#endif
* [[../Stroll-around-yard-T|Take a walk around the yard]]
* [[../Front-of-house-Q|Walk around to the front of the house]]
* [[../Enter-woods-Q|Walk into the woods]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,BedOut,BedMoved) & %without(Hole)] ; Q=[%remove(*,BedMoved)]
Move-bed-X
''(Outside, behind the house)''
You give the bed a mighty heave, and slide it off the grass, onto the patch of bare dirt below the bedroom window.
What next?
* [[../Kitchen-Q|Go into the kitchen, through the door]]
#if (X=[%with(BedMoved)])
* [[../Move-bed-Q|Shove the bed over onto the grass]]
#elseif (X=[%with(BedOut)])
* [[../Move-bed-Q|Shove the bed over onto the bare patch]]
#endif
* [[../Stroll-around-yard-T|Take a walk around the yard]]
* [[../Front-of-house-Q|Walk around to the front of the house]]
* [[../Enter-woods-Q|Walk into the woods]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
Stroll-around-yard-T
You take a nice leisurely walk around the back yard, next to the edge of the woods.
You hear some odd noises coming from within the trees.
You've been walking for a while -- a surprisingly long while, since it's a small yard -- when you look back, and can't see the house. All you can see are trees.
What's going on?
You go a little farther and then, as you start to panic, you yell for help.
Mistake.
A five foot tall ''head'' emerges from the trees just in front of you. OMG it's a ''dragon!''
And it's hungry.
.LOSE
================================================================
Hard-land-T
You take a glorious flying leap off the roof.
After what seems like a lengthy flight around the yard, you find yourself sailing higher and higher into the air.
You break through the clouds -- you can see the Sun! You realize that you haven't seen the Sun in days, because of all the rain ... or was it snow?
You fly up to get a closer look at the Sun.
You melt.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Snails) & %without(Rock) & %without(Antenna)] ; Q=[%add(*, Antenna)]
Get-antenna-X
''(On the roof)''
<!-- NB -- If you have the rock, you've already used the antenna, and we don't let you put it back again after that. -->
You slide the TV antenna into your pocket. It fits just fine.
Actually, you find yourself wondering whether it really ''is'' a TV antenna. It's bright pink, which seems a little unusual in an antenna. It's also about four inches long with a wide blade on one end. And it's making a continuous low buzzing noise. But if it's not an antenna, what on Earth could it be?
On the other hand it was attached to some twinlead (which you yanked off) so it's probably just some modern sort of TV antenna you haven't seen before. Or was that string it was attached to? Hmmm.
What would you like to do?
#if (X=[%without(Skis)])
<ref>You might be able to use a '''[[../House-antenna-no-skis-hint-T|hint]]''' right about now.</ref>
#endif
#if (X=[%with(BedOut)])
* [[../House-roof-boomerang-Q|Jump off the roof]]<!-- Change this to boomerang you -->
#else
* [[../Hard-land-T|Jump off the roof]]
#endif
* [[../Front-of-house-slip-T|Climb down the front of the house]]<!-- Slip and fall off due to weight of antenna-->
#if (X=[%with(Skis)])
* [[../House-ski-off-roof-Q|Ski off the roof]]
#endif
* [[../Put-antenna-back-Q|Put the antenna back in place]]
.INVEN(Q)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Snails,Antenna,BedOut)]
House-roof-boomerang-X
''(On the roof)''
You jump off the roof.
Oddly, since you ''thought'' you jumped off the ''front'' of the house, you find yourself landing on the bed which you left in the back yard.
'''''Boing!!'''''
You bounce, higher than you'd ever have expected, and end up ''right back on the roof.''
What would you like to do?
#if (X=[%without(Skis)])
<ref>You might be able to use a '''[[../House-antenna-no-skis-hint-T|hint]]''' right about now.</ref>
#endif
* [[../House-roof-boomerang-X|Jump off the roof]]<!-- Change this to boomerang you -->
* [[../Front-of-house-slip-T|Climb down the front of the house]]<!-- Slip and fall off due to weight of antenna-->
#if (X=[%with(Skis)])
* [[../House-ski-off-roof-X|Ski off the roof]]
#endif
#if (X=[%without(Rock)])<!-- If you have the rock you've used the antenna and you can't put it back. -->
* [[../Put-antenna-back-X|Put the antenna back in place]]
#endif
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
Front-of-house-slip-T
You glide down the front of the house, head first, just like the snails do, and at first it's just going slimingly, but the weight of the antenna in your pocket unbalances you. You find yourself sliding around sideways, and then the patch of paint you're sliming across comes loose and peels off, and you, the slime, the paint, and the antenna go plummeting into the front garden, ''right into a gorse bush''.
.LOSE
================================================================
X=[%with(Started,Outside,Snails,Antenna) & %without(Rock)] ; Q=[%remove(*,Antenna)]
Put-antenna-back-X
''(On the Roof)''
You put the antenna back in place, and reattach the string to it.
You feel more sure footed with the weight of that thing out of your pocket.
There are also a bunch of shingles, and a patch of really nasty ice in the middle of the roof. You're careful not to slip on it. It strikes you as odd, since there usually isn't ice on the roof in August ... or is it August? You realize you're not sure.
What ever shall you do?
#if (X=[%with(BedOut)])
* [[../Soft-land-Q|Jump off the roof]]
#else
* [[../Hard-land-T|Jump off the roof]]
#endif
* [[../Front-of-house-Q|Climb down the front of the house]]
* [[../Get-antenna-Q|Put the TV antenna in your pocket again]]
#if (X=[%with(Skis)])
* [[../House-ski-off-roof-Q|Ski off the roof]]
#endif
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Skis)]
House-ski-off-roof-X
''(Front lawn)''
You notice, a bit to your surprise, that you still seem to be wearing skis. Odd -- I wonder how you made it up the front of the house with those things on your feet? In any case you shuffle over onto the patch of ice, and ''shove off'' with the ski poles.
''Whoooooosh!'' Off the roof you go, like Doolittle surfing through the atmosphere!<ref>So google it already. Stop wasting my time with these silly questions or you'll never get through this.</ref>
You skim the top of a ewe (''Needs pruning,'' you think) (''Bah -- do not!'' says the ewe), bounce on an evil rose bush (''Ha hah!'' you think. ''Missed me!'' ... ''Did not!'' says the rose bush, and sure enough you've got a scratch alright) and finally come to rest in a comfy patch of Hyperthistles (''Oooouuuuuch!'')
You bind up your scratches with a bit of stray spiderweb, and soon enough you're good to do.
But, go where?
#if (X=[%without(Rock)])
<ref>You probably don't want a '''[[../Van-rock-hint-T|hint]]''' at this point.</ref>
#endif
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-X|Go around the house to the back]]
* [[../Enter-woods-X|Walk into the woods]]
* [[../Climb-house-X|Climb the front of the house again]]
* [[../Under-van-X|Crawl under the van]]
#if (X=[%with(Ate) & %without(Snails)])
* [[../Eat-snail-X|Taste one of the snails]]
#endif
#if (X=[%with(Rock) & %without(Backpack)])
* [[../Break-van-window-X|Break into the van. Smash a window and see what's inside.]]
#endif
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
X=[%with(Outside) & %without(Rock)]
Enter-woods-X
''(Lost in the Woods)''
Oh boy here we go.
You walk among the trees and immediately you're lost.
The trees sing softly to you about violins. That seems odd to you; usually trees aren't that interested in musical instruments.
After wandering around for a while, you sit down on a rock to rest.
What next, folks?
* [[../Woods-farther-X|Go farther into the woods]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-X|Head back toward where you think the house might be]]
* [[../Get-rock-X|Get the rock you're sitting on]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Outside,Rock)]
Enter-woods-X
''(Lost in the Woods)''
You walk among the trees and immediately you're lost.
The trees sing softly to you about violins. That seems odd to you; usually trees aren't that interested in musical instruments.
You wander around for a while, and notice that the trees all look alike. Furthermore they're all swaying alike, too, dancing a slow dance, in time with their singing.
What next, folks?
* [[../Woods-farther-X|Go farther into the woods]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-X|Head back toward where you think the house might be]]
.INVEN(X)
================================================================
X=[%with(Outside) & %without(Rock)]
Get-rock-X
''(Lost in the Woods)''
Get the rock? Seriously?
It's a boulder. It must weigh 300 pounds. It's not going anywhere.
What next, folks?
#if (X=[%with(Crater)])
<ref>You might benefit from a '''[[../Blew-up-jug-hint-T|hint]]'''.</ref>
#elseif (X=[%without(Antenna)])
<ref>Perhaps you could use a '''[[../Get-rock-hint-T|hint]]'''...</ref>
#endif
* [[../Woods-farther-X|Go farther into the woods]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-X|Head back toward where you think the house might be]]
#if (X=[%with(Antenna)])
* [[../Get-rock-2-X|Really -- Get the rock you're sitting on!]]
#endif
.INVEN(X)
<hr>
{{reflist}}
================================================================
Get-rock-hint-T
You seem to want to get the rock.
But it's, like, ''seriously'' stuck in the ground.
Getting it out might be less totally impossible if you had some tool to work with.
Perhaps you should keep exploring and come back here again later.
.NOINVENTORY
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X=[%with(Outside,Antenna)] ; Q=[%add(*, Rock)]
Get-rock-2-X
''(Lost in the Woods)''
OK, OK, you make another attempt at getting the rock.
But first you pull out the TV antenna and look at it again.
Hey -- it's actually a small shovel!
You dig all around the boulder, which turns out not to be quite such a boulder as you thought once you've dug it out and gotten a good look at it.
OK, so you have the <s>boulder</s> rock.
What next, folks?
* [[../Woods-farther-Q|Go farther into the woods]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-Q|Head back toward where you think the house might be]]
.INVEN(Q)
================================================================
X=[%with(Outside)]
Woods-farther-X
''(By the fence)''
You find yourself facing a fence.
High, very heavy gauge chain link, backed by opaque plastic sheets and topped with razor wire.
You can't ''see'' through it, and you <u>sure</u> can't ''go'' through it.
So, what next?
* [[../Climb-fence-T|Climb the fence]]
* [[../Outside-by-kitchen-X|Head back toward where you think the house might be]]
.INVEN(X)
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Climb-fence-T
You climb up the fence without any trouble.
Then you get to the top and pull yourself over.
Ooooops.....
Were you not paying attention when we talked about the razor wire?
.LOSE
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X=[%with(Outside,Hole)] ; Q=[%remove(*, KitchenWindowOpen)]
Enter-hole-X
''(In the Sinkhole)''
You slide feet-first down into the hole in the yard....
'''''CONGRATULATIONS!''''' You've made it to ''first base!''
Didn't think anybody would ever get this far.
Unfortunately it's about as dark as the inside of a cow here, aside from one tiny patch of light, far above you, which is the hole by which you came in. I'm really not sure what you're going to be able to do next (aside from maybe get eaten).
''We'll see, eventually....''
.INVEN(Q)