IllogiNews:A wild boar goes on a shopping spree, just as the prophecy foretold

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

A filthy boar today invaded the Green Ridge Shopping Mall in Nashua, NH, USA at 4:22am local time. Hurley goats manned the bilge pumps, as the sow was huckstered into investing in a bullshit 401K retirement account. Fire brigades from 4 surrounding towns joined the Nashua department in blocking off exits and evacuating non-swine patrons and service people. Robots from the future guarded the most precious cargoes as though they declare hierarchies of severed pantaloons.

Ripping yarns, the cats converged on onions trying to escape the chaos. Lumbering hamstring giants polluted mummies in situ. Prized ganders jumped headlong into the gazelle light weight lorries, ponderous as they were. Ponderous, indeed.

She claims to be allergic to caffeine, but I don't believe a word of it. Alpacas scored higher last week.