IllogiNews:Jimmy Savile wins Eurovision

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This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.



Jimmy's teeth have been stuck to this cigar since childhood

In a surprise entry in the Eurovision Song Contest last night, Jimmy Savile brought the Isle of Man to victory with his song "We'll fix it for you (take the bribe now)". Every single country gave them 12 points, more than doubling the previous record of points set by Finland and beating the UK to 2nd place, in an event which has since been dubbed by no-one in particular as 'happening'. The stage performance was immense, with props costing a total of over £9000. Crowd surfing ensued, as he belted out the chorus with a cigar in his mouth. Isle of Man was not registered to enter until they quickly went independent from Britain and made Sky3 their EBU broadcaster a stunning 3 minutes before the ESC started. Norway's song 'FairyTale' was the only act to finish with Nil Points, while the United Kingdom were unfortunate not to come first.

Ironically, Jimmy Savile himself is from UK, but at the opportunity of singing for Isle of Man jumped to the prospect - quite literally, using his own trampoline in his back garden to get to Moscow. Eurovision 2010 will be held in the Isle Of man next year, which is the biggest achievement by the island since winning the Go Kart Grand Prix (which they hosted, and won as the only contestants).

On winning the competition, he simply quoted The band... was... showaddywaddy!. This was despite Showaddywaddy not actually performing at the competition.