IllogiNews:Moon Is Fake, NASA Admits

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This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

The back side of the Moon

“NASA blew up the Moon”

“The Moon was stolen by aliens”

~ Giorgio A. Tsoukolos

“THIS is why we never went back to the Moon”

~ Unnamed source at NASA

“Claim: The Moon is just a cardboard cutout. Rated: TRUE”

~ Snopes

In a surprise news conference, a spokesman for the National Aeronautics and Space Administration admitted that the Moon, as we know it, doesn't exist, and hasn't existed since 1970.

In an ill considered experiment during the Apollo 17 mission (the final Apollo mission), the astronauts dropped a "small" nuclear device into a crevice on the Moon and detonated it, in order to use the vibrations to produce a clear seismic picture of the Moon's interior. Unfortunately, what scientists at NASA hadn't realized is that the entire Moon was made of Styrofoam, with a thin layer of beach sand on top, and it disintegrated into a cloud of molecules and a few clam shells when the bomb went off. The astronauts only made it home because they were standing close enough to the LEM that they could "swim" over to it by kicking their feet in the resulting gas cloud. Once on board they rejoined the orbiter and cut the mission short, heading back to Earth immediately.

The TV feed which NASA provided on every mission carried live images of the destruction of the Moon, but by mission #17 nearly everyone on Earth had lost interest, so audience size was small, and the segment of the broadcast during which the Moon blew up had been preempted by the Morning Farm Report.

Since nobody on Earth watched it happen, and the Moon was waning anyway, NASA spent a couple of weeks and launched a new one into orbit. The new one isn't nearly as good as the original, however; it's just made of cardboard, with a bad poster of the original Moon glued to it. But up until this year, nobody had noticed the change.

The secret would probably have remained a secret had someone at Snopes not decided to launch a probe to investigate the rumors that some of the Moon landings had been faked. The Snopes probe, which entered Earth orbit on a Long March rocket provided by China, photographed the Moon from the back. When Snopes posted the first of their photographs, the NASA administration, concerned about a possible wave of "alien hysteria", decided to finally admit to what really happened.