IllogiNews:New species discovered

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This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

A new find: the single-headed two-bodied zebra of Cambodia.

PNOMH PENHE, Kampuchea

Deep in the steamy jungles of the Cambodian countryside, one can find ruins of fantastic structures, unrecorded new species of animals and killer weed. About the last, I will only say I recommend the red buds; sticky, smooth creeper, perfect for a wake and bake.

On occasion, a scientist is on hand to document a new species of this or that. Last Sunday was one of those occasions. Professor Dinsdale Carpetsmudge of DeVry University attained his fifteen minutes of fame for discovering and documenting the first sighting of a two-headed, one-bodied zebra.

Once believed a creature of legend, the stealthy hoofed beast has eluded man at least since 1844, when the King of Siam was said to have kept such a creature to satisfy the bizarre sexual urges of his third son by his second wife.

It remains a mystery, how this animal can possibly get around, having two sets of four legs in opposition to one another. No one has seen one, even in legend, that wasn't standing still. "I'm pretty sure they teleport," drummer and Satanist Bill W. told IllogiNews. "That explains how they just seem to materialize out of nowhere, like alternate universe Spidermen."