IllogiNews:News happens, or something...
This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages. |
Ditzimber 22, 2014
NEW YORK, NEW YORK Somewhere in New York. News has happened, yes something notable or something else has happened apparently and IllogiNews is covering it for some reason. Could it be an intense fire where 57 people were injured or something? Could it be some police chase? Could it be some monkey taking a shit? Who knows — all that we know is that it's newsworthy.
The current mayor of New York, whatever his name is... said that "Whatever is happening is definitely a crisis for our fair city. I don't know if it's the fire or if it's the police chase or even the monkey. Who knows? All I know is that IllogiNews is covering it so it must definitely be news worthy..." His comment definitely provides credence to the story and makes it more newsworthy than it's supposed to be.
According to our helicopters in the sky, we have discovered that whatever news is happening is inconclusive, and because it's inconclusive we cannot cover it accurately. We don't know who to blame — our sources on the street, our sources in the sky, that monkey — but all I know is that I don't know what I'm covering and supposedly it's newsworthy...
In related news, an IllogiNews reporter was caught eating a banana at the scene of the crime; could he be the culprit? Maybe, but since we're IllogiNews, we'll definitely say he is for news purposes.