It's midnight, and I'm tired...
I've been up for hours, waiting for the attack. I wish none of this was... Oh, right, I need to put the date!
The night between September 15 Day and September 16 Day[edit | edit source]
The Battle of the Banana Peels is about to occur, so I haven't got time to write anything. I've got to go out and fight. I will write about the battle afterward, if Bigak is not wiped from history by it.
(After the battle) It has been a large victory for Bigak. The banana peels were extremely effective at night, when it was hard to see them in the dark. There were seven people who didn't slip on banana peels on the way into Bigak, and they tried to retreat and slipped on the peels on the way out. It was a great plan. Matláti has saved our city.
Matláti went to the banana peels and found 132 people lying on the ground. He found out, based on what they said to him, that Haquaba had spread a rumor among them that Matláti wanted to enslave them all. Matláti denied this. He found 1,294 non-soldiers waiting around in the background, and he found Haquaba, who yelled, "KA-BOOM!" and pretended to explode. Then he lay on the ground, eyes closed.
"You--" Matlati began.
"Don't talk to me, I'm dead!" Haquaba yelled at him.
"Okay," said Matlati, and he began to round up the people Haquaba had led astray, and found a total of 1,426 people, and found they would need 398 homes. He said to the Matlati-Bigak and the Haquaba-Bigak both, "Let's now join together to build 398 houses around the 6 already existing."
"We haven't had sleep at all!" everybody protested. So Matláti let them all have sleep.
Which concludes the story of Bigak's foundation, and Haquaba's plans to prevent its rise. Therefore, this chapter of the Illogic Book will end. More may be added in another chapter.