Illogic Book/Page 3
But no amount of watch shenanigans could prepare the crowd for what happend next. The watch started to move as if it were alive! It's hands span round getting slower and slower (battery low) until they came to a standstill at 5:36am. An unnatural hush befell the stunned onlookers. It all went quiet and the sun seemed to darken, the temple's snazzy pink curtain was torn in two. The centurion looked up, ashen face, and declared that Jesus was bored.
People have tried saying that it went quiet because the crowd were actually mute corpses or that there was an eclipse on that afternoon but I knew it was special. I could tell from that look in their eyes that this was the real deal. One of the audience members happend to be a whole orchestra and started playing some atmospheric music to set the mood. It was then that it happend, no one sawc it coming, not even the blind guy. A huge shadow loomed over the group (the effect of which was ruined slightly by the perpetual darkness) and then enfolded them in a 2D shady hug. And everyone was warm.