Illogicopedia:Illogimail/Westboro Baptist Church

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lets get the ball rolling, Testicles said he would improve the explanation, dunno if that's happened, but anyway.

This is our first recipiant of a coveted email on behalf of Illogicopedia, happy writing. their website is www.godhatesfags.com we gotta be different and interesting to get noticed, lets see if we can crack these bible bashing nutters.--Silent PenguinLeave Me Alone 15:53, 19 Ditzimber 2007 (UTC)

The email

Asema's suggestion

Wait, wait, wait, what?

I... I'm not entirely sure, sir, if you spelled something wrong. Surely god hates fags, everybody knows that -- the Lord, in His infinite knowledge, would know that cigarettes are bad -- but... I'm perplexed. Perhaps you misspelled what god hates? I can understand you having went "Oh, we already registered the domain, let's just make it about God hating fags." But truthfully, surely you meant figs? I truely cannot stand the vile things. People say they're a good source of calsalsium, or phostorphius or whatever, but I disagree. FIGS ARE BAD. I'm sure the Lord hates figs too. Perhaps he created them to be the runt of the litter as far as comestibles go? I wouldn't doubt it! I mean, come on, they're flesh, ugg.

Or maybe you meant digs. I can understand that too! Just this morning I was heading to town and I fell in this massive whole made by some FIG with a shovel. I spent half of my day getting out. Luckily, I have a banana phone, so that helped. Of course, I question the two-letter typo, but it's possible...I mean, "D" and "F" are next to each other... but the problem is "I" and "A" are nearly all the way across the keyboard from each other. Come on! Can you even spell?

Perhaps you, instead, misspelled a completely different word, such as "God hates LAG." This, too, is understandable. Who hasn't been frustrated when, in the middle of a round of Battlefield 2, a large bout of lag comes along and ruins your game? An embarrassing embarrassment indeed. Other than that, perhaps FADS was the word you misspelled. Anyone who has ever watched MTV or the E Channel knows what an annoyance Fads can be, constantly changing without rhyme or reason. Please respond back, as I have great interest in my own guessing skills, and would like to professionally be the person who programs the "Did you mean..?" part of MS Word spellcheck.

--Monsieur Trashipaje

Second Attempt

How does it feel to be hated by millions of people for simply stirring the shit. Most people i know couldn't give a fuck what this almighty God thought of them. You people love the attention that being complete pricks brings with it, i'm amazed it hasn't got you killed. Because that's all that gets you hated, being rude, hateful individuals.

Don't you even consider quoting bible text, I don't care, the bible is not the be all and end all of modern civilisation.

We tried to be nice and got no response.

--Monsieur Trashipaje

T3canolis' E-mail

I would prefer you wouldn't send this one but I just thought of something funny.

So if what you say is right, you know, about God hating gays, soldiers and everyone and their mother, and how God loves you. Well, when it comes to loving you; he's kinda alone because, well... the world hates you. And I mean hates you. It's really a wonder of how all of your members haven't been brutally murdered yet. Seriously. If being selfish is a sin then you guys have committed it because God only loves you. You're really just a bunch of hypocrites.

--A Man Who Sent What Every Freaking Person in the World Wants to

P.S. Oh yeah, you should be renamed the "Westboro Baptist Asylum" because you're all fucking insane.

Comments

Awaiting no reply.

--Silent PenguinLeave Me Alone 03:47, 28 Ditzimber 2007 (UTC)

Hah! I look forward to a reply for this!!! -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 14:24, 28 Ditzimber 2007 (UTC)

I decided to get off my lazy ass and send some of these out, so the second one has been sent--Silent PenguinLeave Me Alone 16:02, 26 Arche 2008 (UTC)

I bet they're too busy smiting gay people, straight people, unmarried people, British, Canadians, Americans, Indians, American Indians, dogs, cats... (is cut off) -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 18:47, 27 Arche 2008 (UTC)

Don't send mine please. I just thought it was funny and I wanted to post it. --T3 02:57, 27 Yoon 2009 (UTC)