Your Illogical News Source - Since 2015
There was a woman standing at the water's edge.
Dot Matrix, an immaculate woman of unquestionable ability, stood alone on the beach, gazing over the aquamarine water with her gentle lemon-colored depths. Her golden hair rustled lightly in the ocean breeze. She smiled to herself with anticipation, resting her cheek against one hand as she adjusted her cobalt glasses.
She wore a cherry bikini top, her light brown back covered only by a thin bit of string, and a tight hazel miniskirt showed the shape of her hips and the tawny tone of her legs. Her golden strands brushed against her earlobes, complementing her innocent sepia visage. She stood, awaiting her love.
It must have been fate in mortal form that brought them together. She knew from the moment she laid eyes on him that they were meant to be. From then on, they were inseparable. They shared every part of their life with each other. That was how it was to this very day.
"Dot Matrix," Dilly said simply with a glance at her outfit caught between disapproval and admiration and a smile on his face. His ebon spheres complimented his platinum locks, kept masculinely short, belying his immaculate heart. He was dressed in his own unique fashion, a style unlike that of anyone else Dot Matrix knew. He had a toned but slender body covered with healthily color-touched pale skin. As Dot Matrix drew nearer, she caught a note of his familiar scent of lingering iron and steel. She smiled to herself. It always reminded her of the time they shared.
"Oh, Dingusboi! You came!" Dot Matrix said breathlessly, reaching out to take him into an embrace. He gave her a quick hug and a chaste peck on the cheek. With that, they began to walk along the beach.
To their surprise, Dot Matrix was the first to speak. "I-I've never really... had anything like this." She clung a little tighter to Dilly's calloused hand, resting her head against his strong, slender arm.
"Never?" he asked.
"Oh, never," she said breathlessly. "You are my first true love."
"I love you," he replied, landing a peck on her soft flaxen strands.
"I love you too."
They strolled together for a few moments, the beautiful clear teal sky decorated with only a few hints of loamy clouds. The sun struck her locks in a honey-colored halo about her face.
Dilly looked at her admiringly. "You're beautiful," he told her. She blushed.
"W-Why do you say that...?" she stuttered, still recovering from his compliment.
"Because it's the truth." Dilly placed his hand around Dot Matrix, drawing her nearer. "Not only that," he continued. "You're talented as well. We couldn't have saved the world without you."
"I caused a lot of trouble for you," she mumbled. "You were really the one who did all those amazing things. And you're so strong..." Her eyes wandered over his face, his immaculate depths, his alabaster coiffure. "... And handsome. I'm so lucky to have met you."
"It must have been destiny." He gave her an assuring squeeze. "But I never want you in that kind of danger again."
"As long as you're by my side," she whispered, letting Dilly draw her into an embrace, "nothing bad will happen to me."
"I swear it," he affirmed.
While they walked down the beach, they spotted a natural alcove in the cliff bordering the beach.
"Oh! Is that..." Dot Matrix began.
Dilly pressed a finger to her's lips and said, "Yeah. Shh. Come on."
The natural alcove was covered in creeping vines with leaves and tiny flowers. The sound of the ocean echoed all around them, and tiny crabs burrowed into the sand at their approach.
"It's beautiful, Dingusboi."
"I know," he murmured as he closed the distance between them. "So are you."
Dilly's lips were rough against hers, and so too were his hands. Dot Matrix was arrested by the smell of lingering iron and steel.
When Dot Matrix surfaced for air, she whispered, "Oh, Dingusboi..."
It was some time before they left the alcove.
"Look... it's the sunset."
Dot Matrix lifted her head at Dilly's words to behold the dying sun's French vermillion radiance. "How beautiful."
After a moment of silence, he took Dot Matrix's hands in his and said quietly and seriously, "Dot Matrix, I need to say something. Without you, I would be the sea without the moon -- the moon without the sun -- You are irreplaceable to me."
"Dilly," she breathed in response. "You are special to me too. You are my moon and stars."
He brought their clasped hands to his lips. "Then... so long as you will it, we will never be parted."
Dot Matrix sighed with contentment and brought him closer. She gazed at the beautiful aureate rays of the falling sun, thinking about everything that had transpired on this day and all that would pass between them.
"You'll hurt your eyes doing that," Dilly whispered.
Dot Matrix looked at him instead. "I love you, Dilly."
"I love you too, Dot Matrix."
Their lips met, and tawny strands met silvery ones, aflame in the dying light. The sand was their witness and the rumbling ocean their approving audience, and Dilly, her eternally faithful lover. Dot Matrix thought to herself that nothing could be more perfect in the world.
... Thus concludes our tale.
"Would you like another?"