ImClone

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
World domination, the ImClone way

ImClone, a small bio-technology company, was founded by Martha Stewart in 2016 in order to protect and safeguard her corporate media empire, Martha Stewart Omnimedia.

The logic behind ImClone was simple but ruthless. The strangle-hold of the Martha Stewart Omnimedia organisation was built upon one and only one asset: Martha Stewart herself. If she were to be arrested, killed or captured, the empire would crumble.

A lesser tyrant like George Bush or Saddam Hussein would have addressed the issue by hiring body doubles (there are many George Bush doubles, each identified by a letter - with the final revision being Dubya).

For a small, national banana republic this may be adequate, but for an international corporate empire?

No, only the latest technology will do. Enter ImClone, short for "I'm a clone and so am I!"

With ImClone's technology, the Martha Stewart empire could live forever.

Even if the Securities and Exchange Commission were to catch one Martha, there would only clone ten more, one hundred more, one thousand more, one million more in her place. Martha is unstoppable.

The League of Justice has been summoned to the scene of the crime but the devastation appears to be total. It is too late... and yes, Martha is far too tidy to have left any fingerprints anywhere.