Kernel panic

Kernel panic is a major problem among the operating system population of today. You see, in the modern world, stress is a real issue; sometimes, the most dedicated and hard-working kernels succumb to their workload and become very highly stressed - to the point of panic!

How to calm down a panicking kernel

Now, just remember; kernels have feelings - how else would they panic? So you will have to treat them gently; experts agree that shouting is of beneficial effect - kicking and screaming even more so, so begin with that.

Help! Now the kernel is even more terrified

Don't worry; it'll be over soon. Just trust me on this.

Aieee! It is rebooting

Re-booting? Funny you should mention that. I was just going to instruct you on this one; you see, a very effective technique is to repeatedly hit it with your boot. Just keep at it, and eventually, it should take the boot just fine.