Liverpool

OI MATE that some sick scran ya got there lad. Let's have a chip then, yeah?

"Chihchcciken and acanahchchcoke"

- Popular Liverpudlian phrase referring to the food chicken, combined with the international carbonated beverage Coca-cola. Scousers won't eat or drink if they can't find both of these things for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

"Oi these're boss these yeno lad"

- Some 14 year old in a Berghaus fleece after stealing your chips (I know he's only 14 but if you ask for them back you'll be stabbed, just get some more chips and make a mental note to never eat chips in Williamson Square again).

What's a Liverpool?

I saw a group of youts shooting fireworks at folks in Williamson Square once actually, proper buggers them. The bloody youts. Proper buggers. Youts. Proper. Buggers.

Hospitality in the Merseyside area may only be slightly warmer than the Mersey itself but there's some good pubs with cheap pints - wait a minute - you what? £5 for a Stella? When I was young we used to pay -£5 to drink that rusty smack water. I'm better off in Manchester trying to nab a Blue Moon whilst getting trampled by Southern students.

Recent controversy

It's true, in Liverpool it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a pint under £4. This is actually a national crisis that every single average British bloke is suffering as a result of. Millions have fled London and the streets are actually nearly completely desolate like they are in 28 Days Later. City blokes are fleeing to the smaller towns and villages to not have to pay ridiculous amounts for a cheeky pint. Getting a bit bloody silly now i'nt it? ay? AY? *headbutts a wall in anger* This is essentially gentrification. Liz Truss if you're listening just lower the price of pints - I can't fully explain how, but it will literally solve most of England's problems including inflation, bigotry, nepotism, jay-walking, homophobia, multiple sclerosis, social anxiety, my bloody leg, syphilis, that flippin' cat living on my road that won't stop meeooowwing at ungodly hours. PACK IT IN!

Oi lad u want any lemo mate? Yous want any ket? G'wed kid 3 for 50 innit, gets ya twisted and that like.