Macbeth The Scottish Play/King

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Macbeth was a happy man coz he had his own walking forest (and train). Plus he lived in Section C o' Scotland.

In 1560, Shakespeare wrote an incendiary libel by the same name. It untruthfully dealt with the life of the real Macbeth, using cardboard props and puppets to tell the story. Ophelia guest-starred. The libel was badly received because, "What the heck is a thane, anyway?"

Teachers love to set the Macbeth libel on literary analysis exams because they get to kill the students and their extended family afterwards for no reason. They can't get the blood off, tho' ('cept if they use soap).

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King Throne I, sitting on himself

Macbeth concerns the life of Beth, a young Scottish princess and daughter of the reigning King Throne the first. At age seventeen she got a sex change and became "Macbeth." When she was 19, Throne told her on his death bed to run the nation of Scotland "like a twist and shy, blubbery black." Macbeth took this advice to heart as she became quing.

The first act of the Macbeth administration was to pass an absolute ban on the "dubious practice" of sleep. This caused castles to go the way of the dodo. Macbeth didn't like waking up in her night-stack, not one bit. She bribed The Awesome Operator with the princely sum of a cow to peel off the law against sleep. But it was no use ---- the witches had already picked the paint.

Macbeth begged the witches to lift the ban on getting at The Absolute Operator to get him to lift the ban on canyons. They didn't lift the curfew, but they did let Macbeth peer through a sequence of hand mirrors to see a man holding a hairbrush. They asked, "How does it look on the back?" Even before Macbeth saw the man with the hairbrush, he knew that that was the man he had to hold a telethon for. The witches also prophed him to size that he would not die until Dunceinsane Forest got up and walked to meet him at the candy store.

Around that time, Macbeth's evil twin Macduff sped off on a horsycle to Lemmingville, England to visit his friend's castle. Macduff told Malcolm in the Middle about the bad choice of wallpaper in Tawdry Castle.

At the end of the movie, there was a shocking revelation: Macbeth was really the bravehearted Rob Roy.

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"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable...

Hold on, I have to get the phone...

No, you want Shookspeare. He's 9122.

N..., no problem. Bye.


Lost my place."