When you die, there are different things that can be done with your body.
It can be buried beneath the earth.
It can be cremated and the ashes can be scattered in a serene place.
OR, now thanks to our EXCLUSIVE offer, your body can be turned in to delicious MANBURGERS!!!!!!!!!
Here's how our process works
We at Snoot Industries care dearly about our clients. If you sign up for our exclusive plan, and agree to give us all the money your children ever earn, we will ensure that your body gets turned in to Manburgers after you die.
When you die, we'll have our trained professionals come with a specialized body delivery vehicle and carry your fresh carcass to the nearest Burger King.
There, your body will be brought to the kitchens, chopped up, and deep-fried in grease. Once it's sufficiently cooked, you will be served in hamburger buns with french fries and sprite, at a special discount price!
It's the best way to have your body be disposed.
Why would anyone want to be buried or scattered over the ocean or a forest? Where's the joy in THAT? Who wants their body to become a part of the planet EARTH? Earth is just a meaningless ball of rock. With OUR offer, you can become part of something truly meaningful: the fast food industry!
"I feel so happy knowing that my grandfather was served at the local Burger King," says Lucille Durkins, "He loved Burger King in life. It's a very appropriate way to dispose of his body. I actually ate one of the burgers made out of him. It was a little undercooked, but it still tasted alright with mustard."
This article has been discontinued by the Illogicopedia center for family values, because it's absolutely repulsive. Satire be damned. This is just gross. The rest of the article will be family-friendly. Apologies for any emotional turmoil this article may have caused.
And now, the family-friendly conclusion to this article
And so, the fluffly bunnies and the fuzzy white mice lived happily ever after in the land of Blibby-Blooby and they certainly did NOT devour each other's corpses at discount prices at Fast Food restaurants. With mustard.