Master of Procrastination
I am the Master of Procrastination because I have found out the optimum time, right before finals, when I have the absolute highest number of really important and vital things that I ought to be doing and I am instead on Illogicopedia typing this article. That's how awesome I am at procrastination. No, seriously. They keep saying they're gonna give me a PhD. (Playa Hater's Degree) in it, but the paperwork never quite gets through.