McSweeney's

Dave Eggers says you owe him $4,000 for that book he gave you that you didn't know he gave you. Now it is time to hold hands but you are reluctant to do so. The guy to your left, sure, hold hands with him. The guy to your right is Valentino and he has a Band-Aid on his finger. He seems like a nice person. If you held his hand, would he still be a nice person? He would still seem like a nice person but you know how people are.

Now you're in a circle and the circle keeps getting smaller. Dave Eggers is making people leave. It seems as if he's being a jerk about it but it's more like he's being artistic. He places a desk on you and you can't see anything and he says that it's your office.