“Lovely Rita, Meetah maid”
The Meetah, related to the Cheetah, but not close enough to rule out kinky David Attenbrough-style incest, is a tiny dimwitted creature. They live in Chunknockaca, high up in the hilly mountains. When the leaves rustle they go crazy and have to be sedated for hours. Left alone in this crazy mode they turn into a horrifying apparition known to eat the souls of children.
The species dines exclusively on raw meat and chutney that's past its sell by date. After three and a half years, the adults retreat to their mountain home to die, eaten by a large monster that lives under their bed.
If you're interested the monster's name is Steve. He's the drummer for an avant-garde jazz band. They're pretty good actually, you should check them out. Send me you're email and I'll link you to their myspace.