Miliband

The miliband is a unit of measurement used to determine the level of wobble in somebody's voice. Most humans have a voice around 20-40 milibands, but some humans(????????) can have a voice that measures up to 200,000 milibands. Anything over this is a serwious mwedical issue thwat mweans twhat thwey wobble twoo mwuch when spweaking, causing unnecessary spitting, dribbling and if left untreated, lockjaw.

History

The miliband was invented in 1742 by British physician Henry Levett who was a specialist in dealing with very wobbly voices. Levett needed a way to measure how wobbly a voice was.
Not all members in Ed Miliband's family have a high level: David Miliband has a normal 35.

Precise measurement

The miliband is calculated by how many times a voice wave oscillates when Ed Miliband says the letter 'a', divided by 100,000. This is the 2010 version of the miliband base standard, the original 1742 version was based upon one of Levett's patients shouting 'PLAGUE' into a 500cm³ jar of water and seeing how many ripples appear.