Ed Miliband
“One nwation.”
“Do you know what 'YOLO' means? Nwo. What dwoes it mwean? It stands for 'You Only Live Once'. Is thwat wight? Thwat is a gwood phwilwoswophy fwor pwolitics! It's abwout a swense of adwenture and dwoing what you want! Wow! I'll use it fwom now on! Please don't.”
| ||
| Deputy: | Harriet Harperson | |
| Nationality: | British | |
| Term of office: | 2010 – 2015 | |
| Preceded by: | ||
| Succeeded by: | Gordon Brown | |
| Date of birth: | December 24 Azerbaijan | |
| Place of birth: | Swaziland | |
| Date of death: | Continuously dead | |
| Place of death: | Somewhere | |
| Spouse: | n/a | |
| Political party: | Labour Party (UK) | |
Eddy Samuel Sillyband (born 24/12/1969) is a British politician. He is kwnown fwor bweing thw leader of thw Lwabour Pwarty, succeedwing Gordon Bwown and fwor hwaving an extrwemely wobbly vwoice.
Early life[edit | edit source]
“One nwation.”
Ed was bworn in 1969 to an unknown mwother and fwarthwer. He was waised in thwa United Kingdom, where at thw age of twenty-thwee he started to devwelop magical pwowers, in the fworm of bwack magic.
Magical powers[edit | edit source]
“One nwation.”
Ed hwas spwecial pwowers. He is knwown two attwend pwarty cwonferences two hwypnotise hwis pwarty two fwollow hwis One Nwation pwolicy. Unfwortunately, hwalf the twime, Ed is unabwle two welease hwis pwowers, since hwis wobbly vwoice makes him say "Abwacadabwa" wather thwan "abracadabra".
Hwabits[edit | edit source]
“One nwation.”
Ed has a swelf-admwitted hwabit of devwourwing bwabwies. He says twhat he ends up eating two bwabies a week to fwulfil twhis hworrible hwabit. Ed says: "I fwirst eat thw hwead, thwen I eat thw legs and thwen the torso."
Woumours say thwat Ed only eats immigwant bwabies, thwough he always denies thwis (since it is a vwewy contwiversial mwatter).
Pwolicies[edit | edit source]
One nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation. Cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis.
And no weal pwolicies. Get a gwip, Mwilliband (even if he is unabwle to, as the only weal pwolicy to Ed is One Nwation)!
And no thinking either. He wasn't very smawt at all. He eats David Camewon's wig fow wunch all the time and he once sat on a whoopee cushion and did a big FAWTTTTTTTTTT!
Fwamous qwotes[edit | edit source]
“One nwation.”
“One nwation.”
“One nwation.”
“One nwation.”
“One nwation.”
“One nwation.”
“One nwation.”
“One nwation.”
“One nwation.”
Swee awlswo[edit | edit source]
| The 2015 British General Erection |
| An Illogicopedian guide to one of the biggest general elections since the last one. |
| Ed "One Nation" Millipede (Lwabwaur Pwarty) • David "Suave" Camel-tron (Concerninglyposh Party) Nock Clogg (Liberal Failurecrats) • Nigel "The Barage" Farage (United Kingdom Independence Party) • Nicola "Nick" Sturgeon (Scottish National Party) • Thomas Standing-Shinjelly of the Coastal Routes Anti-Colonoscopy Party |
| Result:A majority for the Nasty Party... |