Ed Miliband

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“One nwation.”

~ Ed, on the country

“Do you know what 'YOLO' means? Nwo. What dwoes it mwean? It stands for 'You Only Live Once'. Is thwat wight? Thwat is a gwood phwilwoswophy fwor pwolitics! It's abwout a swense of adwenture and dwoing what you want! Wow! I'll use it fwom now on! Please don't.”

~ Interview with Ed
Ed Sillyband
Ed Sillyband
Deputy: Harriet Harperson
Nationality: British
Term of office: 2010 – 2015
Preceded by:
Succeeded by: Gordon Brown
Date of birth: December 24 Azerbaijan
Place of birth: Swaziland
Date of death: Continuously dead
Place of death: Somewhere
Spouse: n/a
Political party: Labour Party (UK)


Eddy Samuel Sillyband (born 24/12/1969) is a British politician. He is kwnown fwor bweing thw leader of thw Lwabour Pwarty, succeedwing Gordon Bwown and fwor hwaving an extrwemely wobbly vwoice.

Early life[edit]

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

Ed was bworn in 1969 to an unknown mwother and fwarthwer. He was waised in thwa United Kingdom, where at thw age of twenty-thwee he started to devwelop magical pwowers, in the fworm of bwack magic.

Magical powers[edit]

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband
ONE NWATION! ONE NWATIIIIONNNNNN!!!!!

Ed hwas spwecial pwowers. He is knwown two attwend pwarty cwonferences two hwypnotise hwis pwarty two fwollow hwis One Nwation pwolicy. Unfwortunately, hwalf the twime, Ed is unabwle two welease hwis pwowers, since hwis wobbly vwoice makes him say "Abwacadabwa" wather thwan "abracadabra".

Hwabits[edit]

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband
Ed, abwowt two devwouwr a bwaby.

Ed has a swelf-admwitted hwabit of devwourwing bwabwies. He says twhat he ends up eating two bwabies a week to fwulfil twhis hworrible hwabit. Ed says: "I fwirst eat thw hwead, thwen I eat thw legs and thwen the torso."

Woumours say thwat Ed only eats immigwant bwabies, thwough he always denies thwis (since it is a vwewy contwiversial mwatter).

Pwolicies[edit]

Did you just pwopose somethwing other thwan One Nwation?

One nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation one nwation. Cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis cwost of livwing cwisis.

And no weal pwolicies. Get a gwip, Mwilliband (even if he is unabwle to, as the only weal pwolicy to Ed is One Nwation)!

And no thinking either. He wasn't very smawt at all. He eats David Camewon's wig fow wunch all the time and he once sat on a whoopee cushion and did a big FAWTTTTTTTTTT!

Fwamous qwotes[edit]

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

“One nwation.”

~ Ed Milliband

Swee awlswo[edit]

The 2015 British General Erection
An Illogicopedian guide to one of the biggest general elections since the last one.
Ed "One Nation" Millipede (Lwabwaur Pwarty) David "Suave" Camel-tron (Concerninglyposh Party)
Nock Clogg (Liberal Failurecrats) Nigel "The Barage" Farage (United Kingdom Independence Party)Nicola "Nick" Sturgeon (Scottish National Party)Thomas Standing-Shinjelly of the Coastal Routes Anti-Colonoscopy Party
Result:A majority for the Nasty Party...