Mort

Story of Mort

Hi will write a short story about mort. Written by Bobo (talk) 14:40, 31 Ergust 2021 (UTC)Bobo

Mort

Yo'ure done itǃǃ1ǃ

CHAPTER 1 THE BECKONING

BEEPǃ BEEPǃ BEEPǃ Went Morgan’s alarm clock. He hit the snooze button and rolled over. It was a bright Sunday morning with a brisk autumn breeze in the air. “MORGAN GET UP!” screamed his mother, Jill. “YOU'VE HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON TEN TIMES ALREADY!” Morgan groaned and sat up in his bed. It was a typical day in the Morgz house. Jill was cooking breakfast downstairs and Martin, Morgan’s stepfather, was finishing his second plate. Morgan picked himself up and walked to the bathroom. Inside, he saw Mum’s 3-star Goku uniform folded on the hamper. “Morning,” he muttered at her. He turned on the sink and splashed water on his face. He looked down the stairs and saw Martin hurriedly scoop the last bit of bacon onto his plate. “I’m not hungry anyways,” He thought to himself. He then went back into his room and sat down in his chair, placed his camera above the computer, and booted up his favorite game. “HEY GUYS, MORGZ HERE,” said a loud voice escaping his chapped lips. The boy ran his fingers through his hair, and his flowing locks of bleached, dyed hair flew across the screen. “TODAY! We’re going to be playing… FORTNUT, my NEW favorite game.” Morgan sat in his ‘Fortnite chair’, placed his hands on the keyboard, and started the game smashing away at the keys and flicking his razer mouse left and right. A small bead of sweat gathered at his brow. Suddenly, Mum barged into the room, “SHUT UP YOU STUPID CHILD I WILL INJECT YOU WITH EBOLA!” screeched the wicked witch. Morgan turned around to stare Jill in the eyes. He knew what was coming, “NO! MUM. not again!” he screamed “I’M FILMING!” Mum viciously sat down and took pain pills with Pepto-Bismol and drank the liquid like a pig. She threw the plastic Pepto Bismol container at Morgan, hitting him directly on the top of his head. The pink fluid had tarnished his perfectly white hair. Morgan pulls out Ol’ pumper shottie, the family weapon, and shoots the container on the ground. The family didn't know how they obtained the weapon, but whatever they did they couldn't get rid of it. Shottie is a vicious tool, showing no mercy to protect his master. Mum screams in shock and pulls out her 3-star Goku uniform; for some reason, it has cleaning supplies. She squirts Clorox into Morgz’s eyes. He screams “AaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” This angers Ol’ pumper shottie, he looks around and there is a dead silence… CHK! CHK! Shottie paced or, floated across the room looking everyone in the eyes. “Shh,” says Martin, the stepfather to Morgan. “He can smell your fear.” Suddenly mum sneezes. Martin angrily yells “YOU FOOL!” Then throws her at the beast. BANG! Ol’ pumper shottie missed! CHK! CHK! “How in the hell did we even acquire this weapon!” “ОwО Onii chan, I have to confess to yuwo,” Says Mum’s three-star Goku uniform. Shottie looks confused. Morgan watched the situation in fear. He didn’t know how to contribute. Morgan grabbed his camera and ran to the sink hiding inside. Morgan giggled as he thought of Mum’s stinkies. “owo,” he said, taking short, shaking breaths. Morgan peaked out from the sink, accidentally falling out “Ow!-” he yelped.

CHAPTER 2 THE CONFESSION

"Uwere was I. >w< Oh yeah! I lowove you!” Mum’s three Goku uniform (Who will be called M3SGU now) was blushing. How is that possible? I don't know. The family was in shock, they had never seen an article of clothing talk before. A shotgun yes, but a maid outfit was a foreign concept to them. “I knowo yowou aren’t aowoll bawad” She began to fold oddly as if someone invisible was putting her on, then stood as if she was being worn. “Y...you do?” “I’ve never had anyone say this to me… everyone is afraid.” Even though Shottie didn’t have skin, everyone knew he was pink. (He was technically pink due to the Pepto Bismol but disregard that fact.) “Yes, Senpai! I truly do lowove you!” The room was silent, thought Morgz, too silent. Suddenly, M3SGU throws a suckerpunch into Shottie’s… gut? Mum and Martin go flying into the living room. Suddenly Hideri Kanzaki from the anime Blend S breaks through the door and surveys the situation. “Great job M3SGU, I'll have to give you a promotion” M3SGU stood next to Hideri, And her form became more human, with a faint outline of a person becoming visible. “I'll save you!” CHK! CHK! BAM! A metal slug round bounces right off of Hideri, leaving nothing but a faint dent. She places her finger on it and rubs it away. “Bullets don't work on this idol, shottie.” Hideri picks up the deformed slug and places it in her mouth. Her teeth crunch down on it and she swallows it with no problem. “Ahh Shottie, how I’ve missed your company.” She smiles revealing her many chipped teeth from constantly chewing scrap metal. M3SGU heads into the living room to finish off Martin and Jill. Her form is even more visible now, but something seems off. Her legs are attached to Hideri’s body. “How do you know my name?!” Morgz picks up Shottie and chambers another round. Chk chk! “Careful Morgan I can’t tell what she's gonna do.” “What do you want?” Morgz aims the gun at Hideri. “Gah, why’d this have to happen today of all days...” he thought to himself. It was Mo’rg’z ‘Fortnite day’ and he rarely got to play more than an hour. “You don't remember me?” “Well, I'm surprised shottie! We go way back!” She takes another step toward Morgz. “Don’t take another ste-” but before Morgz could finish he was thrown at the wall by one of Hideri’s tentacles. He sticks to it and slowly peels it off like slime. “I need you shottie, I’ve been incomplete since you left.” “What do you mean?” Shottie looks over at Morgz and he gives a half-hearted thumbs up showing that he isn't dead. “You bitch!” Shottie fires at Hideri, shooting flechettes that explode on contact. “You can’t escape this!” As all of the needles make contact with Hideri, her skin turns into a black material and she is unscathed. “Impossible! Who are you? How do you know me!” Hideri grabs Shottie and holds him in her tentacle. She smirks at Shottie and he sees a spark within her eyes. “One question at a time Loverboy.” The tentacle around Shottie slowly tightens, and he begins to choke him. Shottie thought the tentacles felt familiar. “Loverboy,” Said Shottie. “What do you mean?” Hideri’s Smile twisted into a scowl, and the sparkle in her eyes diminished. “You were my lover Shottie!” Growled Hideri, throwing him across the room next to Morgan. Shottie truly realized the words of Hideri Kanzaki. His chamber trembled and his safety shook. “I… I thought I killed you!” He howled, with gun-oil tears flowing out of his eyes “This can’t be happening!” Shottie felt sick like he wanted to eject every shell he held within his tube. “Well, you were wrong! I was reborn!” *Wink wink* “Don’t you remember that day Shottie!” Hideri walked towards Shottie, with each step feeling like a freight train smacking shottie’s wood-furnished ass. “No! It can't be!” Tears were flowing, gunpowder was spewing, and Shottie finally remembered. He closed his eyes and remembered

Le Epic flashback starts

Gwuuuu, ah Shottie-kun~

CHAPTER 3 THE FLASHBACK PT 1

“Isn't this nice hideri?” Shottie sat in his car, his sling wrapped around Hideri’s shoulder. The sun was gleaming off of shottie’s shiny new barrel. Hideri sat in the passenger seat enjoying the view, and thinking deeply about their future. They sat in a small parking space overlooking a canyon, the sun was setting right in between them. Shottie remembered this place from his childhood and decided that this would be a good place to propose. “Yep,” responded Hideri finally. She looked down and away from Shottie. Shottie in response repositioned himself to face her again and spoke. “Just up the road is where we’re going.” He chuckled to himself and almost started another sentence before Hideri spoke. “Shottie, I have something to tell you.” She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes, she understood that she could end her relationship in an instant. “What is it, my love?” “Well, you know once my parents die, I'll have to take over their pig farm?”

Shottie: Yeah.

Hideri: Well, I was thinking, If I became a… you know…

Shottie: What?

Hideri: A...a... an idol.

Shottie: WHAT! You want to run away and become an idol!

Hideri: But that’s not all, I’m… I'm... I'm also a… boy.

Shottie: WHAT THE F*@%!

Hideri: I'M SORRY!

Shottie: Get out.

Hideri: W...what do you mean?

Shottie: GET OUT.

Hideri: Okay! Okay!

car doors shut

Hideri: What are you going to do?

CHAPTER 4 THE FLASHBACK PT 2

Shottie: Oh ill tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to shoot you and throw your body down that cliff!

Hideri: No! Please! Just let me go!

Shottie: No! I've already told you my plan!

Hideri: Please! Stop!

Shottie: 1…CHK!

Hideri: Please!

Shottie: 2…CHK!

Hideri: Please! I'll do anything!

Shottie: 3! BAM!

Hideri: NOOO!

Flashback ends

(tears roll down Ol’ pumper shottie’s cheeks)

Ol’ pumper shottie: I'm… I'm so sorry Hideri kun.

Morgan walks into the room, tears streaming down his cheeks “I miss my biological father” He said “amogman”

Ol’ pumper shottie: “Well you will see him soon.” Chk! Chk! BAM!

Morgan’s eyes widened “Owie,” he said. He fell back and yelped, starting to bleed a bit. That’s when he emerged, Moogusǃǃǃǃ! “Daddy?!” Morgan cried

Amogman: No my son. For your father is away fighting in the not-so-great war. Morg(an)z was nervous. R...really? I thought he died in the absolutely smashing war of Britland! Then Morz fell into a deep coma.

CHAPTER 5 THE COMA

Morgz woke up somewhere different. He felt strange. He was in his house but he could see nothing. It was dark. There were no lights or windows. He could feel something cold and slimy, then warm and fluffy at his feet. He was afraid. He could hear whispers of his family but they were not there. No one was. He was alone. He tried to stand up but he felt tired and couldn't. He wanted to yell for help but there was none. He tried once more to get up but instead, he sunk into the floor like it was quicksand. But when he thought he was going to suffocate, he fell through the floor and landed in the same room but this time, there was light. He could see the floor and it was solid wood. Just like his. He heard footsteps in the other room and sprinted to it. He saw his mum and was thrilled. He tapped her on the back but she didn't move. “Mum.” He tapped again. “Mum?” Morgan was getting afraid. “MOM!” She turned around and that was when Morgan realized that the thing he tapped was not his mom. Morgan fearfully asked what it was. But there was no response. Then the thing faded away like a wisp of a dream. He continued to walk through his “house”. He soon found out that his “house” was alive. He touched the wall and could feel it breathing, pulsating. The wall he was touching soon turned moist and slimy, just like the thing that rubbed him earlier. In fear, Morgz ran. But he noticed that he wasn’t getting anywhere. Morgz was shocked. He didn't know what he could do. He started to cry. He wished that he didn’t discover Fortnut. He made an oath to never play Fortnut again. (If he got back alive) He was about to turn around but something told him not to. He couldn't understand what it was because he had no one to talk to. He continued forward. The halls moved faster and more violently than before. He could also see the wall had changed color. It went from green to gray. As he touched it, some of the material came off. Almost like it was dying. He pushed forward but went nowhere. It all became white. He continued to walk but soon ended up where he was again. In his ‘house’. He saw his replica mom but this time he picked her up. She was weightless, empty, void of anything. Morgz was not afraid though. In fact, he was emotionless. He suddenly felt tired but energized at the same time. He saw his “mom” start to turn her head. She started to form a mouth, eyes, and nose, but gave up halfway through. She was still able to squeeze out of her deformed mouth, “Morgan”. He suddenly felt a cold shock go up his spine. His mom disappeared and in her place a key formed. As soon as he touched the key, he could see himself. He saw his eyes were white, and glowing. His mouth was gaping wider than usual. His nose was getting sucked back into his head. He saw his body collapse on the floor. He came out of his dream in fear. He didn't know what to do next. He saw Mum, Martin, Mum’s 3 star Goku uniform, and Ol’ Pumper Shottie. He was skeptical at first, but then started to believe it was his family. He was home.

CHAPTER 6 THE AWAKENING

Morgz was so happy to be home he shrieked. “Mum!” “You’re here!” Mum: “What do you mean you re-retarded child?” Martin: “Well, 🅱️utter my biscuits!” “You’re awake!” Amogman: “We can't be too happy!” “His insides are still bleeding!” Hideri: *No comment* Ol’ pumper shottie: “yay” Amogman: Call an ambulance! Amogman: “Morgz, I must confess to you.” Morgz: “What is it sus?” Amogman: “While you are here dying, I must tell you, I love you like my son Morgan.” Morgz: “What do you mean?” Amoogmann: “I’ll tell you later Morgan.” Hideri: [ :/ ] Amogman: “I call upon the God Of Death.” “Save my son.” But Morgz didn't hear that part. Hideri: “wat ??” “Did you just say my son?” Amogman: ”yes, MY DAUGHTER!” Hideri:😩 Cocks gun Amogman: “No!!!” “NOOOOO!!” BANG Hideri: “Oh yeah, bullets don’t work on this idol”…. Amogman: “Oh btw that was a joke I am not ur dad.” Hideri: :l Morgz: “Um, nani!!” Hideri: “What?” Robert Downey Jr: For all of you readers out there, ‘Nani’ is a word from the Japanese language that means ‘what’ in English. The reason Morgz said “Um, Nani, is because he wanted to say Um, what. What's that you ask? Why would he say Um, Nani instead of Um, what? The reason is he is a filthy degenerate. You may now continue reading. Thank you.

Hideri: “What was that about?” Morgz: “I don't know but whatever it was, it called me a filthy degenerate!” Hideri: lol get trolled

Chapter 7 A NEW BEGINING

So what now? Asked Hideri Morgz: “We try to find my father. Shottie do you know anyone who may have information? Ol’ pumper shottie: Yes, but they’re a vicious group. The Mafiadiles. Hideri: Oh those guys, they ain’t nothing. Ol’ pumper shottie: They almost KILLED you. Hideri: Yeah but they still took a fat L. “Yikes” Morgz says in disbelief

Editor's note: hi i forgo what the doc said so im gonna do something else

Chapter 8 i think OPERATION M.O.R.T.

Hideri: I have an idea! I call it operation MORT Morgz: What does MORT stand for? Hideri: Operation, My Balls Itch lol Ol’ pumper: But that doesn’t- Hideri: I don't care. Ol’ pumper: ok Morgs: This isn’t helping us. Hideri: Yeah the name is kinda dumb but the plan is not. Morgz: Sooooo, what's the plan? Hideri: I'll call my guys and we will execute our plan with absolute authority. Shottie: What? Amogman: That's sus. Shottie: What????????? Hideri calls her men(?). A whole plethora of femboys immediately arrive at the scene and begin changing. Shottie: Should I be aroused? Hideri: Yeah

Chapter 9 THE BIG DAY

It was a lovely tuesday morning. The birds were chirping, the grass was growing, and it seemed like the london smog had stopped! Is what Morgz would have written if the smog was gone, and if it was morning. In reality he was at the hideri hideout aka the basement of femboy hooters number #557. It was somehow hot due to the femboys and cold due to the fact they were 25 feet underground. The room they were in was about the size of the restaurant above but most of the walls were gone and there was a brownish shag carpet over the whole floor. It was extremely musty and smelled of old bread. It seemed like this was the first time anyone had been down here in years. No one seemed to care though, they were too focused on running background checks on everyone upstairs. Hideri was watching over everyone in a green visor and a tracksuit. She would occasionally talk to one of the working men and then shout “WE’VE GOT A LEAD!” but she never did. Shottie was silently pacing waiting for answers. Morgz finally spoke up and said to Hideri, “Are you sure they come here everyday?” “I’m sure of it!” Hideri replied enthusiastically. They were waiting for a regular that might have a clue to who and where Morgz’ father is. Suddenly a femboy shot up from their seat. Hideri rushed over and they began whispering quietly. She then screamed “code green!” and a loud bang could be heard from upstairs along with the sudden chit-chat of the patrons. Everyone rushed upstairs. When they got up a large crowd had moved to one side of the dining room. On the other side, three men in trenchcoats, sunglasses, and fedoras could all be seen smoking with their backs turned away. Hideri put her hand on her hip and exclaimed, “Well, well, well, long time no see Tony.” Without even looking up, the biggest man at the table responded with a “Same to you.” He had a deep, booming voice. He had a slight new york accent. Morgan was surprised at his menacing demeanor. From where he was standing, the largest seemed to be about six feet tall when sitting. Morgz shuddered and took a deep breath, “Who are you?” The large man took a long drag of his cigar and then put it out on the tablecloth. He snapped his fingers and the two smaller guys stood up along with the big one. Morgz was terrified. Standing up the big guy was about nine and a half feet tall. When he stood his hat touched the ceiling. He took his hat off and revealed his bald, scaly head. He then turned around and revealed his long snout. He had multiple sharp white teeth that stuck out of his mouth. He had two smaller people that stood next to him. The larger of the two was six feet and still had a cigarette in his mouth. The smaller one was wearing a bowler that covered his eyes. Next to the tallest, he looked like a toy. The biggest announced himself as tony, the medium-sized one just said “sharp” before lighting another cigarette. When he was done he pointed to the smallest and said, “This is stumpy.” Stumpy looked like he couldn't talk, he just stood there smiling. Morgz was very intimidated and Tony knew it. He slowly approached Morgz and stared him down. “You one of Hideri’s guys?” Morgz just looked over to Hideri. She spoke up and said, “Technically no, we need your help”

CHAPTER 9.5 THE TANGENT

Guy Fieri (Real)

Hi this is Bobo i'm bored so I will tell a REAL short story. Once there was a guy named guy. He wanted to be just like his favorite chef, Grandan Remsiy. He was good at eating but not at cooking so he ate a hotdog but he choked on itǃ All of a sudden Goku from draganball gave him cpr then died and said, Guy become super sayin. Then guy grew up to become guy fieri. The end.

CHAPTER 10 THE PACtangent (sorry)

What was I evemn writing i really font know lmao i just rhinkiydhunni haha so sollliy! Ahahahahaha g i brobo mo nkeyn wasd wrlking dwn hte tsreet and i sawed a karr!!!11 h it wa s sooooooOOO)0o0O) cooolllllll!!!!11!!!@ i awent vrooommmmn 9 j Hahhahahahaha!!!!!1111!!!11!1 s i went hank HAN k s] iw carched itno kar caer and a chreached!? Iyg wads saf :( goobey @!!!! Ads stoir numner 56-- is abroutn cars carshig . su sah saf 5 REAL JIT HOURS and I LOOOVE READING ANIME (Japanese comic books)

CHAPTER 10 IT'S REAL THIS TIME

After many hours of arguing back and forth, Hideri and Tony finally settled on an agreement. Tony was quite upset when he found out the circumstances. “You killed Snoop, now you want our help?” Grumbled Sharp. “Aw C'mon;” Whimpered Hideri. “Pwease just this once?????” “FUCK NO!” Exclaimed Tony angrily. “You can’t just come on our turf and demand we help you.” “PWEASE I BEG OF YOU!!!” Hideri burst out as a last attempt at persuasion. “P...PWEASE I'M CRYING AND SHIDDING MY PANTS PWEASEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!” She began kissing Tony’s scaly feet and toes (NOT FOOT FETISH). Mort was confused, he had never seen Hideri act this way. Hideri quickly stood up and then stomped out of the room. Shottie looks outside of the restaurant and wonders what could happen outside of the metaphorical prison he used to call home. As shottie looked through the window he could hear the angry footsteps of Hideri stomping about. "Hideri-Chan, why so upset?" "The gang won't listen, I've begged and pleaded but they just won't listen." "They won't listen to you?" "Shocker." Said shottie with an irritated tone in his voice. "They said they would help if I got them some fancy cigars, but they cost over 8,000 dollars, and I'm poorǃ" "Well, I know where we can get some for cheap." "How cheap are we talking?" Hideri asked. "Free, but we have to find them." "I thought you said you know where they were." "Well I know where they might be, people want them so they were hidden." "Wait are you talking about the potatogars, the cigars made of potato?" "Yes but keep quiet, you never know who…" BANG! The front door of the restaurant burst open and a man wearing a red spandex bodysuit and ski goggles stood there. "Who are youǃ Said shottie ready to fight. "This is a private buisnessǃ" The man didn't care. He seemed affixed to one of the femboys, then in a blink of an eye, he drew a knife from what seemed like midair and lunged at the femboy lodging the knife deep into his back. "Wh...who is that... Said Hideri with a tremble in her voice. "I don't know but they seem dangerous." "Ya think?" "Whatever or whoever that is just killed someoneǃ" "Quick use meǃ" Proclaimed Shottie. Hideri grabbed Shottie and chambered a round, she then took aim and fired a shot. The man moves almost immediately to dodge the shot. "W...what?" Hideri said as she trembled. "Impossibleǃ"

CHAPTER 11 THE IMPOSTER

The man stood still for a moment as if he was studying Hideri. The man then ripped open a vent and jumped in. “Quick, shoot him!” Yelled Shottie. Hideri took a shot but it was too late. The man was deep in the vents. Shhh… if we’re quiet we can hear him. Whispered Shottie. As the two lay silent they could hear the subtle bangs of the man in the vents. “He’s going downstairs, quickly!” Hideri and Shottie rushed downstairs and locked the door. Soon after the power went off and a loud voice told everyone to turn the generator before emergency power depletion started. Emergency power, that doesn't sound good, Tony said. A loud shriek was heard and everyone looked in the direction it was coming from. They could only see in short bursts of red for about two seconds before it went dark again. When Hideri came across the source of the noise she screamed as well. “I...it’s in two…” Hideri sputtered out. The body was cut in half at the waist, and the upper body was nowhere to be seen. “I can’t even tell who that is…” loud footsteps came from behind, Hideri quickly spun around. Before she stood a femboy. I'm scared, can you help? Sure. In Hideri’s mind, she wondered why the femboy wasn't alarmed at the body. Hideri and the femboy wandered through the halls trying to find anybody else. “Damn, we need to find that generator,” Hideri mumbled. “ I think I know where it is, but we need two people.” “Well, you can help right?” “No, I'm too weak to pull the lever.” “How would he know it requires a lever?” Hideri wondered, her suspicions grew. “Hey, how long have you been here?” “Um… about a month I think, it could be more.” “What’s your rank?” “My rank? Um… it’s uh… well I’m not sure.” Hideri grew EVEN MORE SUS. “Ummmm that’s kinda sus…” Hideri responds in an unwavering, queasy, vomit-inducing voice. Her breath was hot as a dog in the summer panting away at the thought of her employee betraying her trust. “Su… sus ha ha… sussy… ha ha HA!” Hideri then went on a rampage so violent that it cannot and will not be portrayed in this story. When Hideri was done mutilating the body, she stood in the mess she had created, deep crimson blood was splattered all over everything. The sounds of cracking dismembered bones filled the echo-y room and broke the deafening silence. Hideri ripped the flesh off of her victim as she devoured it slowly. It used to be human, but alas, the wrath of Hideri was bestowed upon him. This was his punishment, death. Hideri stood with glazed eyes and blood over her hands and face. This was her reward. Flesh.

CHAPTER 12 THE REST OF EM'

Him,s sthis ir s bobodmv mosnlkrety ro tsllre yous thst ss trshejhifds scjaharoptreritr isa adboeur t a lfs ore the majon m ok i slaodnm aie atheis akmiropic ai salaso sa alac ICa eaakman anna ian sd aksdcant ds tooa 2 a9d apa’mf amlsk lalllMLmSHIt!!!! nobo~ (Translation: Hi this is Bobomonkey here to tell you that this chapter is about the rest of the characters. Also, *Something about an ice cone man and a cat with Tourettes??*) trash all made by Imanol Rico Rivera. NO ITS WJSAWS MANDES BYE BIBO!!!!1! WAAA WASAWWAAAAA!!! Ok back to the story. Morgz's mum stood ready to fight in her three-star Goku uniform, her vibrant plasma blade let out a soft hum. “Cometh on, showeth me what thee did get mateth!!” She sprung forward plunging her sabre deep into the crimson flesh of the tomato. The foul beast recoiled in pain, letting out a deafening bellow. “Ha! t seemeth thee has't not did face death foul beastie! I shalt rip and drop of sorrow thy flesh until thou art nothing but a husk!” “Oi M8 r ye F0kin done wi ah sala’ yet?” Shouted Martin from across the house. Morgz's mum was still slicing away at the tomato, grown in her own garden. She thought that a salad would be a nice meal, considering Martin was morbidly obese. “Not yet mine own husband, f'r i still needeth to cutteth the onion, Besides thee wend without eating thee fatty.” Ever since Morgz left, the family has been in shambles. Dishes were not washed in what seemed like weeks, even though it had only been two days. “O Morgz, Morgz, wherefore art thou Morgz? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love. And I'll no longer be a Capulet. 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy: Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague?” Morgz's mum howled unreasonably. “SHUT UP YE STINK’N SKANK! I OUGHT TA NEVER BE WITH YE!” Screamed Martin louder than Jill. “Silence thee m'rbidly obese bald-head'd brit!” Jill yelled back with unrelenting anger. “I wanteth not to heareth a w'rd from thee!” “WHA DI YE CALL ME? MORBITLY A BEAST? WHAS THA EVEN MEAN? RAHHHHHH!” The situation was worsening faster than quicksand, which wasn’t very fast. “MUH MUH MUHORBHIDWHATAREYEOUEVENGSAYIN’?” “Snapa lappa craka dookie wally walla woo!” Say’s the man with Tourettes. “Hella Wella moucha mouhua” Good job man with Tourettes! “Listen man whoop! Can you stop saying whoo haha! Stuff like THE DOGS ARE LOOOOOOOSE! That, please? It makes me HORNY I'M SO HORNY. Quite upset.” Ruff! Says the dog, oblivious to everything. (What a numbskull.)

Hideri Kanzaki

CHAPTER 13 MORTGAN'Z'S DREAM

Hi it’s BOBO againg andf here iam wiht a stroy wroten by a robit ok a read now. Morgan Hudson had always hated Lonely Mountain with its cuddly, calm cliff. It was a place where he felt anger. He was a strong, small, G fuel drinker with a hulking head and powerless tail. His friends saw him as a grated, glorious god. Once, he had even brought a queen-like Totem back from the brink of death. That's the sort of man he was. Morgan walked over to the window and reflected on his Desolate surroundings. The Rain hammered like a Lunging Mouse. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Tony Mckroc. Tony was a Fearless Nothing with Green Head and Miniscule Tail. Morgan gulped. He was not prepared for Tony. As Morgan stepped outside and Tony came closer, he could see the jolly glint in his eye. "I am here because I want A valuable item," Tony bellowed, in a Large tone. He slammed his fist against Morgan's chest, with the force of 8807 rats. "I frigging hate you, Morgan Hudson." Morgan looked back, even more, vengeance and still fingering the Neon Blade. "Tony, I'll never forgive you," he replied. They looked at each other with Love feelings, like two big, broken Bat Fighting at a very Fearful Burial, which had Bebop Jazz music playing in the background and two Determined uncles Stabbing to the beat. Suddenly, Tony lunged forward and tried to punch Morgan in the face. Quickly, Morgan grabbed the Neon Blade and brought it down on Tony's skull. Tony's Green Head trembled and his Miniscule Tail wobbled. He looked Anger, his body raw like a smoked, smelly Shotgun. Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Tony Mckroc was dead. Morgan Hudson went back inside and made himself a nice drink of G fuel. THE END

CHAPTER 14 A THREE-STAR LOVE STORY

“STOP FIGHTING!” Shouted mum’s three-star Goku uniform. “Nothing has been normal since Morgan left!” “You both changed accents, personalities, hell you even changed the way you look, Martin.” She was right, the family was split in two but for what reason? Was it the fact that their son left with a stranger that broke into their home? Or the fact that no one said goodbye to each other? Whatever the reason, something needed to change or Morgan would come home to disappointment. Disappointment means divorce, of course. (Bars) “No.” Morgz's mum pointed her blade at martins throat, threatening to plunge it into his neck if he doesn't oblige. This angers Martin and he gets angry and screams, “OH HOLY SPIRIT ABOVE! THE KING OF GOODWILL AND FREE LOVE! MY NAME IS MARTIN JEAN VON CLAUDE! GRANT ME THE STRENGTH OF GOD!” ZAP! Suddenly angels poured from the heavens swarming Martin. “BEHOLD! MY TRUEST FORM!” The flapping of the angel’s wings causes the town of little england to be blown away, and only mum remained. The skies shouted with a wave of unrelenting anger as swarms of locusts devoured every living thing, with Martin still wrapped in a seraphim’s firey wings. He grew heads of many prophets and ancient scholars around his body, each with a set of 10 horns of silver each. Thousands of heads covered Martin’s body, and tens of thousands of horns covered their heads. The first beast has been set upon mankind. Martin was giant, laying in the fetal position, firey wings still wrapped around him as he morphed into a being of pure chaotic beauty. Still, only Mum remained. Martin emerges, his eyes glowing yellow, scanning the ground. Like giant searchlights he stands, 600 feet in the air. With heads of serpents, writhing, they shreik ancient primordial hymns. Mum contained her fear, planning to outwit the beast she once called her husband. She quickly ran over a fallen tree, half devoured by locusts. “M3SGU! Biggurobottofōmu!” Mum yelled over martin. Suddenly! Her uniform transforms into a battlesuit, standing over 200 feet and sporting a bright crimson blade! This form is a sight to behold! [バスルームの酸っぱいキノコの足!!] (Translation: Prepare to die!) Mum jumps onto Martin’s leg, latching on. She begins to slowly climb. She finnaly reaches martin’s abdomen and plunges her fist into his gut. “How foolish…” Suddenly, Martin swings down upon Mum with his serpent head and strikes her down. Mum falls to the ground, creating a crater as she lands. As she lies there, Mum falls unconcious.

CHAPTER 15 CONSCIOUS

Mum awoke in darkness. Naked, floating through nothing. Below her was a round object, deep blue in color. She felt her heart beat, and echo across the nothingness of her surrondings. “I am the messenger.” Whispered an entity. It was a round, gray, two-dimensional object floating across Mum’s vision. “I have a secret to tell you.” The entity spoke in a hushed multitonal voice, like a silent choir harmonizing. As Mum searched for a way to move, she experinced bliss, true bliss as she stared at the circle. “Jill, do you know what I am?” Mum could not speak, but felt as though her thoughts were being projected onto the void. “I am what creates life Jill, and I am the one that takes those lives away.” Suddenly unimaginable colors flew across the void, the brightness caused Mum to tear up, and make her heart beat faster and harder than ever before. “I am you Jill.” Jill stared at the entity and began to see herself in an abstract way. Her limbs were like sticks, bending and jutting in every direction, and her face was like a memory long forgotten. “I’ve realised myself Jill.” the entity sang. “I am something, someone, somewhere.” “I am an atom Jill, and I am sentient.” As Jill stared at the flowing chromatic space in front of her, she began to see more gray circles coexisting with the first. “We are you Jill.” Boomed the atoms. Mum’s heart beat faster and echoed louder. Ba-bump, ba-bump. “I have seen all that is alive Jill, and I witness the endless cycle of the universe.” Mum listened. “There shall be 10 beasts cast upon mankind, each one a false prophet.” the entity told Mum. “The first beast shall loom above the clouds, horns of silver shall rain when the beast is defeated..” Mum knew her husband was gone. She silently sat, wishing she could go back to her old ways, but she knew deep down this was her fate. “Holy chet man!” Said M3SGU. “This guy is fliting tough!” Mum woke up to M3SGU shouting at Mum trying to wake her. Martin stood above her smirking. “Had enough yet Jill?” Martin releases a fury of stomps on Jill. “BAM BAM BAM BAM!” “Uggh” Jill groaned before she realised she was still alive. “Jill I can’t keep this up much longer.” Jill drove her blade into Martin’s foot as it came slamming down, causing him to recoil back and scream in pain. “Yeeeowch!” He screams. Methinks now is the time to say that i have been writing this story for 4 FUCKING YEARS now and I still don’t know what to do. Blah blah blah... Bobo is BORED of Mort (Not really tho) and wants to work on different things. So he has decided to cut to a different story while he gathers ideas for what to do next.

CHAPTER 16 DRAGONBALL IN REAL LIFE?ʔ

Driggin ballZ in real loife

Goku! Go to the bathroom!

‘Nah yet..’

GO NOW! YOUR’E SHITTING YOURSELF!!!

‘Nah yet!.. im training with ‘Geta’

VEGETA ISN’T EVEN THERE YOU FUCKING APE!!!

Vegeta was infact not there, he was busy writing a heartfelt letter to Frieza, his old friend. The letter was a response to a question Frieza asked about a funny video Vegeta had sent to him. It featured Goku with puckered lips trying to go super saiyan. The letter went like this,

“Dearest Frieza That must be the craziest story you will ever hear! I was with my pal Kakarot when we found a lemon tree. Kakarot, the silly bastard he is, thought it to be funny to give into my terrible kryptonite for dares! AH-НАНАНАНАНА! Anywho! Somehow he didn't notice the lemon tree and instead asked me to call up my son to tell him that he wasn't mine! What the hell, right?! I call my son Tunk and say "Hello my son truks! I am calling now to inform you that I'm not your father! Ah- HAHAHA!" And then I hug up! Kakarot thought it my have been the funniest thing ever and then I got a dastardly idea! I lightly pushed on Kakarot to move his to the side and stepped forward. I then grabbed a lemon from the lemon tree and took out my pocket knife! Kakarot was freaking out! AH-HAHA! I cut the lemon into, and correct me if I'm using the wrong word, little wedges! He was so scared but knew it was his turn, I dared him to eat the lemon! He ate each wedge and his face got collectively more puckered with each chew! That's when Majin Buu came out of nowhere ready to face Kakarot in battle! I of course assisted, but, Maj, (Main Buu, we're good buddies so that's my nickname for him. Luckily he understands business so he has no issue when I fight him) was so turned off by Kakarot's face as he powered up that he decided to wait until another day to fight him! AH- НАНАНАНАНАННАНАНАНАНА! Your dearest ~ Vegda”

Frieza then responded,

“Greetings and Salutations! Hello my old friend Vegeta, I am writing you this letter as a response and thank you. I did not realize my rival and friend Goku had such an aversion to lemons! I remember my father King Cold used to make me and my brother lemon drops! I guess I won’t be gifting those to Goku or his kin! Haha, I jest! But in all seriousness thank you sincerely for your formal and thoughtful response. I haven’t spoken to Mr. Buu in such a long while, I heard he has gained some weight and with it a much better temperament since our last encounter. Please tell him I said hello the next time you see him if you will. But back to the main point, I solemnly believe that you, Prince of the Saiyans, are one of, if not the funniest aliens I have met on my travels around this wonderful place we call universe six. I can not wait for the day that little Trunks grows up to be a strong and strapping lad just like his father. And how could we forgot about your lovely wife Bulma? I still remember the day we met! Why it was the day me and the Ginyu Force went out to Namek to search for the black star dragonballs.Gohan, Bulma, and Krillin all went searching as well . If I recall, Bulma was scared out of her britches when she first stumbled upon Captain Ginyu with his tall purple, stature! Ho Ho! Yes those were the days Vegeta! That was when you still worked under me, and while it was a shame to see you go, I understand your desire to begin a family. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll stop plundering planets and settle down with a fine frost demon woman myself. Well I hope I did not keep you for too long my dear friend. With greatest wishes, LORD FRIEZA”

Vegeta, pen in hand, scribbles down a few words before pulverizing his table with a frustrated punch, he stands and looks out of his window. “Fuck!” He roars. Vegeta runs out the door and races his way to Frieza’s domicile. Once there takes a deep breath. Vegeta lets go of all his hate and anger as it starts to rain down on him, he picks up pebbles and tosses them at Frieza’s office window. ‘Frieza!’ He shouts, scared, longingly. ‘Hmm? Who could be making such a ruckus outside of my spaceship?’ Asks Frieza as he stands up from his desk, gently laying down his quill. ‘No matter, I needed a break from all this policy writing.’ Frieza cracks his back and stretches before walking to his window and opening it. ‘Vegeta! What are you doing here?!’ Shouts Frieza through the downpour. ‘Come inside or you’ll get a cold!’ Frieza then slips on his helmet and enters his hover pod to meet the Saiyan warrior at his doorstep. ‘What brings you here Vegeta?’ Vegeta looks to his left toward Frieza. He clears his mind. ‘I just wanted to see you, my good friend Frieza. Though unfortunate I find myself bored in my current acquaintanceship..’ Vegeta spoke softly. He felt himself eerily slip into an old groove of things. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I have no malice against Kakarot but I find myself missing an old life. Missing you, my dear Frieza.’

Shottie's Paradise

Hoorahǃ I have stopped procrastinating and made a prolougeǃ

PROLOUGE

Shottie looked out the window, wondering what would happen. Sometimes before he knew what he was he would see people, giants. They would point and stare and ask “how much?” but every time they would look back with a sour look. Why am I here? Shottie wondered constantly, why don't they want me? Every day for shottie lasted for seven hours and every night seventeen. This was because he was a shotgun of course.

Diary

DIARY

LOGA1(B-10)

Helo diary . my docto told me too wrote a diary to let out my felings. I think it is stupid and all my freinds are unencumbered due to the fact they are parsimonious bellwethers who are somehow aso saxicolous sesquipedalians. Dumbies. I hate everone.

LOGA1(B-10.1)

Why does everyon hate me. It is becuse i weird isnt it goad. I hate you. I thindk my freind tomochan hasissue with me. I heate her to. She said youre cloths is ugly an stupit. I'm cry.

LOGA1(B-10.01)

i'm so hapy becuse my friemd Tomochan invitd me too the store yeay . i wil tell my doctor about this day.I ent home and eat and slee. gooniht diarahy.

LOGA1(B-10.001)

I want to hit tomocan with a rock . she slashed water in ym face becuse im wierd god ihate toomochan and kyokocban . i wanr too with them and rocks . boo hooo iam cryng. I willl talk two papa anout my navi i want a knew one. Olso a navi is liek a komnopter ok buy it id liek s asmall ine small on 1 ok plas buuy 4 mi //.

LOGA1(B-11)

I am goin to kill momoko withh a hammer.. She is bitch. I hoap you burn in hell momoko .

LOGA1(B-1111111111)

Why do momoko hate me i didt evn do anything .  :((((((( i am weird dairy ;D god hates me sayd my sister . she is ronhg . Fjuk her face  !

LOGA1(STEAK-SAUCE)

Deer dairy if i dddddddooon r repond in afew dahys the n do not gib a dam ok bi. I knead to got o teh churc o. O k

=

A portrait of Ol' Pumper Shottie