New York City
| This was written by a native New Yorker, so I'm not trying to be hateful |
Ahh... New York City. A great place. Except the fact that if you fall on the street, people will simply walk on top of you but that's okay.
History[edit | edit source]
Fake Brits first invaded Manhattan in 1600.
Real Brits invaded Fake Brit Manhattan in 16??.
Brits that don’t live in Britain invaded Real Brit Manhattan That Used To Be Fake Brit Manhattan in 1776.
This plague grew in 1800s
New York was visited by Arab tourists in 2001. They later invaded it for a short time, celebrating their victory by crashing two planes to the World Trade Center. The North Tower became the shortest building after.
Location[edit | edit source]
New York City (might be) located in... New York (if that weren't obvious...). It is pretty close to New Jersey[1]. Some people say that it is located in Cheese.
No, it isn't[edit | edit source]
No, New York City is not the capital of New York. That's Albany. Yes, what the hell is Albany, right? It's this place that in no way deserves it's capital-hood. You gonna eat that?
Landmarks[edit | edit source]
There's the Statue of Liberty[2], the Empire State Building[3], Time Square [4]. You can also go to Central Park[5] or the Bronx Zoo[6]
Sports[edit | edit source]
In New York City, you can visit many sporting events. The teams that play here are the Yankees[7], the Muts I mean Mets[8], the Dicks I mean Knicks[9], and the Rangers.[10] Yeah... Just drive south to a place called East Rutherford where all of the good and not douchebag New York teams are...
Food[edit | edit source]
Probably the biggest highlight of New York. Of course New York didn't event pizza but they invented sliced pizza. Because eating a pizza whole just seems awkward.
Other Stuff and a Conclusion[edit | edit source]
So if you're visiting New York City, nothing will happen much[11]. You could I don't know, actually see the sights[12] and walk around[13] and see the shitty I mean city. There is Harlem[14], Brooklyn[15], Queens[16], the Bronx[17], and of course there is Staten Island but nothing really happens there other than... I don't really know.
- ↑ Pfft. New Jersey
- ↑ Which isn't really going inside because it's just a billion stairs just to see a few you can see from your hotel.
- ↑ Which luckily has elevators.
- ↑ You can be on the Today Show! Yay!
- ↑ Which in all reality is just a big place with trees
- ↑ Which is out of the list is the only place that's really worth visiting because they have a lot of crap
- ↑ *sticks up middle finger*
- ↑ Though I am a die-hard Met fan
- ↑ Which are only worth watching if your favorite team is in town
- ↑ Um... What can I say about them?
- ↑ unless of course you get picked up by the Cash Cab
- ↑ Discouraged
- ↑ or call a cab
- ↑ advice: PACK HEAT
- ↑ Nothing much happens
- ↑ If you want too live there for some reason
- ↑ To see the Yanks or to play some pick-up basketball and risk getting shot (same advice as Harlem)