New York City

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
  This was written by a native New Yorker, so I'm not trying to be hateful  

Ahh... New York City. A great place. Except the fact that if you fall on the street, people will simply walk on top of you but that's okay.

Location[edit]

New York City is located in... New York (if that weren't obvious...). It is pretty close to New Jersey[1].

No, it isn't[edit]

No, New York City is not the capital of New York. That's Albany. Yes, what the hell is Albany, right? It's this place that in no way deserves it's capital-hood. You gonna eat that?

Landmarks[edit]

There's the Statue of Liberty[2], the Empire State Building[3], Time Square [4]. You can also go to Central Park[5] or the Bronx Zoo[6]

Sports[edit]

In New York City, you can visit many sporting events. The teams that play here are the Yankees[7], the Muts I mean Mets[8], the Dicks I mean Knicks[9], and the Rangers.[10] Yeah... Just drive south to a place called East Rutherford where all of the good and not douchebag New York teams are...

Food[edit]

Probably the biggest highlight of New York. Of course New York didn't event pizza but they invented sliced pizza. Because eating a pizza whole just seems awkward.

Other Stuff and a Conclusion[edit]

So if you're visiting New York City, nothing will happen much[11]. You could I don't know, actually see the sights[12] and walk around[13] and see the shitty I mean city. There is Harlem[14], Brooklyn[15], Queens[16], the Bronx[17], and of course there is Staten Island but nothing really happens there other than... I don't really know.

  1. Pfft. New Jersey
  2. Which isn't really going inside because it's just a billion stairs just to see a few you can see from your hotel.
  3. Which luckily has elevators.
  4. You can be on the Today Show! Yay!
  5. Which in all reality is just a big place with trees
  6. Which is out of the list is the only place that's really worth visiting because they have a lot of crap
  7. *sticks up middle finger*
  8. Though I am a die-hard Met fan
  9. Which are only worth watching if your favorite team is in town
  10. Um... What can I say about them?
  11. unless of course you get picked up by the Cash Cab
  12. Discouraged
  13. or call a cab
  14. advice: PACK HEAT
  15. Nothing much happens
  16. If you want too live there for some reason
  17. To see the Yanks or to play some pick-up basketball and risk getting shot (same advice as Harlem)