Other more creative game designers

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...they're always taking all the girls I want!

I mean seriously, I was just chilling at the 1st street bar, you know the place, the one with the sick red lighting and the huge Samoan bouncer named Manuel? Anyway, I was just there chilling with my homies, looking for some flesh, when I spot this grade-A broad across the dance floor. Man, I'm telling you, she had better rendered bazookas than Call of Duty 4. So I stroll over to the girl and just when I'm starting to dance with her... BAM! In comes goddamn Will Wright. He drops a suave pickup line and wouldn't you know it, I bet he put his Spores to use that night, if you know what I mean.

Goddamn Will Wright.

But that ain't the end of it.

So I'm just hanging out at the Lava Club on 34th with Vince and Uwe just looking for some action (because everyone wants a main attraction) and I find this sweet looking Mongoose across the dance floor. I stood on top of the bar and yelled "ATTENTION EVERYONE, THERE IS A MONGOOSE IN THE DISCO!" and everyone started freaking out and running out the door. Except for me and the mongoose. Perfectly executed.

Well, I was just about to start making my moves on the little guy, when wouldn't you know it, goddamn Shigeru Miyamoto swoops in from the rafters and lands right on the little girl's head!


But he didn't care. He didn't care one bit. He just dusted off his shoulders and went to go have sex with mushrooms.