Peanut butter comes from the latin word 'nutpea erttub'. Not really. JK! JK! Soo.....am I kidding? Yes, I am, dumbass! Ha ha. You're a dumbass. Weenie. Now you're a weenie! Ha ha. Anyway, Peanut Butter was formed when a peanut raped some butter, and they had ugly little peanut butter babies. Why ugly? Cuz the peanut and the butter were cousins. It was fucking incest! Gross.
So, the fuck ugly babies lived in a jar (their parents abandoned them). Some random dude found them, ate them, and thought' "Holy shit, that's fucking delicious!" So, he bred a bunch a peanuts and butters and made peanut butter. Then, some other dude (Mr. Jiff) swooped in and fucking stole it. Ha ha. Now it's his!! Ha ha. Pandas.
Rise to Fame[edit | edit source]
Jiff Peanut Butter came to be famous because you could make a sandwich with it. Whoopidi-fucking-do. Then, Peter Pan and his Lost Boys (which really kidnapped and molested) made their own peanuts and butter (Lets just say, Peter lost his NUTS and BUTTER if ya know what I mean.).This made peanut butter even more famous. Thus, I repeat: Whoopidi-fucking-do.
Controversy[edit | edit source]
You can get fucking salmonella poisoning from it. Ha ha.