Please to be

I am sitting here in this small café in West Chistermister; the sky is grey. My pupils ache and my fingers got nibbled off by clams earlier this morning. I'm struggling to pick up the menu, so I just stick my face to the table and lick it. It tastes like they might make good biscuits. I think I'll have one of those. And a coffee of course. Vinegar and salt, per usual. If only someone would come serve me. There's no one else here. How hard can it be to serve one customer, eh? Now that I think about it, I don't see anyone working here either. Looking around, I see half a dozen round tables with a couple chairs surrounding each one. Most of the chairs are tipped over, missing legs. It looks like there may have been wall paper on the walls at one point. All of it has peeled off leaving streaks of glue beneathe. In a few places I can still see some of the paper clinging to the walls... looks like it was daffodils... maybe some daisies in there too. It smells like mothballs here. A spider crawls across the table.

"Are you here to take my order?" I ask it.

"No." it replies and crawls away. That wasn't very helpful. And then the waitress comes, seemingly from nowhere.

"Sweetcakes what'r you lookin' for?" Her voice is raspy, he mouth doesn't move as she speaks. it is sewn shut. Her eyes are deep purple orbs that seem to be illuminating. Purple tears roll down her cheeks. Her hair is seaweed, but other than that, she's an attractive young woman.

"Please to be getting me a biscuit. Coffee too. One vinegar, one salt," I order. She leans down to sniff my ear. It falls off, and crawls away. That was unexpected.

"Sure thing puddin'. Be right back."

I wait for a solid sixteen minutes. She doesn't return, but the spider does.

"She's not coming back," it says, "She didn't like you."

"Why not?" I ask.

"Every pickle was once a cucumber," he responds. I don't exactly understand, but that's true, I suppose. I'm sure if anyone would understand, it'd be this little spider. I walk out of the cafe, slightly perturbed at the fact that I never got my coffee. I'm still a little drowsy, caffeine would have been a welcome relief. As I step out onto the sidewalk, a blimp crashes into a building a few blocks away. A pack of dogs runs wild in the street chasing a stray bicycle. There is no rider. I continue to stroll down the promenade, and return to the beach. I sit down on a rock and look out to sea, and suddenly the sun disappears, and all that remains is darkness.

and in the darkness I remain here.