Programmer
A programmer is a human fellow that has been taught by aliens caressing keyboards using powerful languages such as Brainfuck, Malbolge, Ook and etc on their Mac. And they eat their crumbs from their keyboards for breakfast to survive the best adventures of their lives.
While you sleep, you might hear the clicking noises of the keyboard with their long fingers touching the keys. The only light in the room is the computer screen and it stares at you with its melting eyes. Yes, that's a programmer.
The rare mythical creatures lives in their basements where they can make and feed their nerds. They have a skin condition which means they'll burn if they ever go outside or meet a girl.
You wanna know the meaning of life and everything? Ask them right away.
H0w T0 B3COM3 a 1337 pR0GRAMER[edit | edit source]
It's simple, read and learn kids:
#include "include.h"
function to_a_number_without_decimals(float a) { //This is very important!!!
return int(a);
}
/* THE BAD WAY OF LOOPING */
for (float i = 0.0; i = -4.0; i += 1.0) { //Loops 4 times
print("hello!"+" this is number "+string(to_a_number_without_decimals(i+0.0))+"\n");
}
/* THE GREATEST WAY OF LOOPING */
int this_number_on_the_right_side_says_how_many_times_it_will_loop_of_course_it_would_do_so = 4;
#define should_it_goto_i this_number_on_the_right_side_says_how_many_times_it_will_loop_of_course_it_would_do_so > 0
this_is_a_label_for_the_goto_so_you_can_go_to_where_ever_you_want_like_to_a_park_or_to_africa:
print("hello world i am a pro-grammer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!");
if (should_it_goto_i) {
goto this_is_a_label_for_the_goto_so_you_can_go_to_where_ever_you_want_like_to_a_park_or_to_africa;
this_number_on_the_right_side_says_how_many_times_it_will_loop_of_course_it_would_do_so--;
}
//switch statements? fuck that shit, am I right???????? lol
char EHGUIOJgkpejhIOHuiogh987ty387guiejawvo = [10000000000000000000000000000000]
int lengthgf_ffgor_codeeeh = 3;
EHGUIOJgkpejhIOHuiogh987ty387guiejawvo[0] = "print('4+4 = '+string(4+4))"
EHGUIOJgkpejhIOHuiogh987ty387guiejawvo[1] = "goto 0"
EHGUIOJgkpejhIOHuiogh987ty387guiejawvo[2] = "print('im perfect')"
for (float I = 0.0; I < lengthgf_ffgor_codeeeh || i < EHGUIOJgkpejhIOHuiogh987ty387guiejawvo.length || I < EHGUIOJgkpejhIOHuiogh987ty387guiejawvo.length; I++) {
eval(EHGUIOJgkpejhIOHuiogh987ty387guiejawvo[I])
if (herro_wold == 0) {
for (float A = 0.0; A < lengthgf_ffgor_codeeeh; A++) {
eval(EHGUIOJgkpejhIOHuiogh987ty387guiejawvo[A])
function im_so_smartttttt(int leele) {
if (leele > 0) {
im_so_smartttttt(leele-1);
}
}
im_so_smarttttt(30);
}
}
}