Raisin bran
Raisin Bran is an aggressive horse, born in the fifth year of the Vietnamese Yo-Gurt-Cup dynasty.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
The noble conifer originated as a boisterous young lad, concerned only with his grooming. One day he was visited by George Bush's personal wizard, who shared with him A FLAMING GRAPEFRUIT!!?1?!!?! Raisin Bran was so filled with rage that he vandalized his Russian neighbor's herb garden. That neighbor was Stalin. The man despised herbs almost as much as he loved the ocean, and used it as an excuse to harpoon whales from his cousin's brand spankin' new hot air balloon.
The Third War of 1812[edit | edit source]
By this time, Hitler had grown impatient and ordered that Raisin Bran be made his personal vegetable gatherer. Raisin Bran, rebellious as ever, elected to serenade the benevolent dictator with the classic "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick "Inflamed Shoulder" Astley.