Roy "Chubby" Brown

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Roy 'Chubby' Brown is a self-proclaimed English comedian, and occasional Buzz Lightyear stand-in at kids parties. Born and raised in the past, Chubby continues to reside there, popping Werther's Originals, and the occasional cap into foreigners asses when their back is turned. His controversial brand of humour has divided many critics, leaving a messy pool of human remains in numerous editorial suites the country over. While Roy insists it's actually his chainsaw that does this and not his joke telling, the Race Equality people ruled otherwise, saying that it's banning of him would teach him not to "steal all his lines from Penguin wrappers."

Forkin Darkies!! Coming here, umm, what's th wrapper say.. oh yeah. Why can't penguins fly?

—A typical Chubby joke

Facing heavy complaints, the BBC relocated his routine to the end of piers and aforementioned 10th birthday parties. Head staff at the organisation figured that piers were easily quarantined if necessary, and that kids just generally smell anyway, so it's probably okay if they're exposed to his brand of view-narrowing shit. This proved to be a good decision after the poorness of his act caused his costume to tear during a performance, revealing his genitals. Luckily, no one was killed.

He looks like quite a jolly fella[edit]

Don't be deceived, he's as grouchy as hell, and he NEVER helps me with my homework. The bastard. Anyway,

Performing for over 40 years Chubby's act is world renowned for it's consistency. Every performance simply consists of Roy greeting the audience with a solemn "hello", eating a ham and mushroom pasty and pointing to the frontpage of that day's Daily Mail, before uttering "goodbye" and leaving for his trailer. This simple formula is so effective it's regularly pulled in audiences of up to 20,000 empty right-wing chairs a night for over 3 decades, earning Chubby literally 10's of pounds. Most of which he found under the stage.

Despite his already inflated income, comedy is not the pyjama-wearer's only form of income. A man of many talents Chubby exports a large amount of empty chairs to third world countries for scrap metal. Customs experts are still baffled as to where he gets them from.

Also a strong supporter of family values, Chubby checks his regularly on eBay, only selling relatives when their buying price peaks. This uncanny knack for a bargain has ensured his regular appearances as an expert on Property Ladder. A position he took over from the actual property ladder itself, after it retired from the show to live out it's dream as part of some scaffolding.